Vishal Bhardwaj proves he is as capable of boring you as much as any other filmmaker, even if he does it in more interesting ways. “7 Khoon Maaf” is a twisted movie that moves at a slow pace – something you should be familiar with if you’ve seen his other films crawl through a few hours of your life.
Priyanka Chopra is a psychopath who, the narrator (Vivaan Shah) claims, is seeking true love and happiness. But somehow every man she gets married to turns out to be some kind of a sicko.
Her first husband (Neil Nitin Mukesh, laughable) is a one-legged army fellow who thinks Priyanka will become a responsible wife once they have a child. She throws Neil Nitin Mukesh to a computer-generated panther. At his death ceremony, Priyanka meets her second husband (John Abraham, hilarious) – a wannabe rock star who passes off others’ tunes as his own, wears a blonde wig onstage, dresses and walks exactly like W. Axl Rose. I’d have assassinated the bastard just for that. But Priyanka has other reasons – John Abraham is a drug addict who has just graduated from cocaine to heroin, and is caught red-handed playing chor-police with two groupies. “FBI Agent,” he announces to a groupie with a toy gun from behind a curtain.
Hubby no. 3 is Irfan Khan, shayar by day and sadomasochist at night. After deciding to kill him, Priyanka teases him with a glass of whisky, and the second time she slaps him is when I fell in love with her all over again. He gets buried alive by Priyanka’s cronies (Usha Uthup and another fellow).
So that’s what 7 Khoon Maaf is all about – a hubby getting thrown to snakes, another hubby made to overdose on Viagra, here a hubby, there a hubby, everywhere a hubby-hubby. Old Mac Piggy Chops has a farm, and do I want to lick it.
7 Khoon Maaf suffers from the same problems that plague Vishal Bhardwaj’s other films. He keeps the pace sluggish to make the film seem heavier and takes his time to establish all his ideas, and it makes me want to get the fuck up and walk out. When there are seven people to marry and kill, it could be shown in a way that would make viewers want to watch it again, but who’s going to tell Vishal Bhardwaj that?
7 Khoon Maaf is an ambitious film that buckles under the weight of its story.
RATING: 2/5
ALSO READ:
Karva Chauth For Priyanka Chopra
Sexy Priyanka Versus Ugly Kareena
abey behenchoditna hi shock hai tujhe apne website par traffic laane ka toh content publish jaldi kiya kar…harami saale log kya dhundte hain net par unki mentality ko samajh…tu aaj raat ko 7 khoon maaf dekhega aur phir uska review daalega toh google k pehle page par kya tu aa paayega? Sun saale pehle se hi hazaaron websites hain jo movie k review likhti hain aur log ussi ko padhte hain koi saala mahine bhar k baad teri website par nahin aayega review padhne samjha…BETICHOD dusron ki website par aake hungaame mat machaya kar smajha…..gaandu ye bhi koi site ka naam hota hai “MEHTA KYA KEHTA”? main tujhe ek naam suggest karta hun “WWW.MEHTAAPNALUNDCHUSTA.COM”
Choot ke dhhakkan, public ko chutiya banata hai… review ke naam pe preview publish karta hai. Bhosadike, tere ghar pe aake hungama machaoonga. Chal, phut abhi idhar se.
“choot ke dhakkan” is a abuse i’ve coined. In case you ever use it again i need to be mentioned as the inventor.
something like this – “aye choot ke dhakkan (KUDOS TO THE inventor of this succulent, hurtful, funny and catchy abuse, Shri Sanket), blah blah…blah blah…”
Fuck, kya credit mongering hai!
madarchod !
Isn’t using colourful language a great release? The only thing that beats it is sneezing!
Aur koi aye na aye, hum Mehta ka review padhne zaroor ayenge… phir chahe woh ek saal purana review hi kyun na ho.
Kya baat hai, kya baat hai!
hahahahaha!!!! yeh toh heaving earth ho gaya!
LOL!
Hehehe… I awoke to this gaali-galoch and my day is going super! Now every morning I’ll look in the mirror and say, “Dude, Mehta… fuck you!”, and maybe even show myself the finger.
hahahahahahha…this is so funny. Aditya saala chutiya….HAHAHAHAHAHA.
hahahahhHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHA I feel looooved! But what kind of an example are you setting? Now everyone who reads this will really give it to me
Give it to me, baby!!! (Aha, aha!)
when will the review be up?
Tonight, tonight!
alright. I can see why you are so high and all today. You’ll see Priyanka in seven different avatars.
I’ve got a corner seat so nobody will see what I’m doing.
ROFLMFAO!
Was about time you did this.
Let’s go for Yeh Saali Zindagi soon. I watched some Oscar-nominated films and threw up.
Oh, you mean wank off to PC in a cinema hall. Hmmm.
did what? the “priyanka movie corner seat” thing?? or write the review?
It’ll be eight months before Anuradha checks the blog again. PRIYANKA MOVIE CORNER SEAT.
will watch for sure.
Please let me know how long the 2.5 hours seem.
priyanks was good all and all good movie…
Are you serious? This is one movie that should’ve been wrapped up in 90 minutes.
There’s no way the movie will be as much fun as this review.
Killer, you are!
Thanks, man! Curtly Ambrose Lips wasn’t all that impressive in this one.
lol. funny, this is.
Thanks, yaar. Traas ho gaya.
The Munster of Gaali ga-Lochness!