Archive for October, 2009


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Film Review – The Hurt Locker

-by Janak Samtani


It is 11.35 pm and the film has just ended. It has left me numb. No judgements. It is 11.43 pm and I am still walking towards the bus stop. I am still numb. I can still hear my heavy breathing. It is 12.14 am now. I have just reached home and I feel safe.

If you give me a word to describe this film, then I will say spectacular.

The Hurt Locker does not talk about the American occupation in Iraq. Neither about the oil diplomacy. It does not even mention Bush, Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney, who decided to bomb Iraq. It is the story of three other Americans who are a bomb squad on missions to disarm bombs planted by the insurgents. There is no background score to influence your visuals. On every mission, you will only hear the co-ordination between the specialist and the two soldiers. There are no hoax calls or time wasters. You are made to feel part of every mission and you will not want any bomb to go off.

Jeremy Renner plays SSgt. William James as the bomb specialist. He needs that adrenaline rush every time he is sent out. He does not want to think about what ifs. On the other hand, the two soldiers covering the specialist from any enemy fire are no doubt courageous, but do want to get out of the danger spot as soon as possible. They are played by Anthony Mackie as Sgt. JT Sanborn and Brian Geraghty as Spc. Owen Eldridge. Prior to this I have only seen one film of Jeremy Renner. This helped me see the trio as only a squad and not as any renowned actors playing a squad. There are also several cameos in the film, which I felt they could have done without and probably shortened the film by ten minutes.

You might be following your national news regularly, which dedicates few seconds or a minute of its air time on the bombs going off on Iraqi streets, the death toll, and the instability there. Now you have a film on it, which shows everything that the news leaves out. Reaching to this microscopic level, by blanketing every political aspect and military superior-subordination aspects out, any viewer will be able to relate to this film.

A suggestion, see the film alone. You sure do not want to be distracted on the missions.


I salute the bomb squads in India who enter death traps to save miserable people like me. This is their story too.- J


Music Review: World Painted Blood

Band: “Slayer”

Album: “World Painted Blood”

Saale...Takle, Mote!!!

Saale…Takle, Mote!!!

There are few things that beat waking up on a Monday morning and finding a brand new Slayer album downloaded and ready to blast. And it can wreck a few weeks for diehard fans like me to hear their favourite metal band sound so beaten.

Come on, with Megadeth having unleashed Endgame earlier this year, Slayer should’ve made some very necessary tweaks to World Painted Blood. It’s not cheating, it’s called being ahead of the (end)game, and hopefully Metallica will learn from Slayer’s mistakes this time.

It’s all here – the fast parts, the shrieking guitar solos, Tom Araya barking away, but barring a few parts here and there that make your head bob up and down, there isn’t much else that holds your attention.

To say something nice – the parts that sound good are played with ease and have the relaxed confidence only greats like Metallica, Megadeth and Slayer can project. Yeah, I’m one of those who think the world should be divided into Metallica, Megadeth and Slayer and I’ll tell you exactly why another day.

My All-Time Favourite Band <3

My Favourite Band ❤

With the ineffective title track and Unit 731 out of the way, the slight fun you’ll have begins with Snuff, and Slayer display flashes of their greatness occasionally throughout the rest of World Painted Blood.

Beauty Through Order, Hate Worldwide, Human Strain, Americon, Psychopathy Red seem ready to burst with madness but there’s nothing that really stays with you. Playing With Dolls takes you back to Diabolus In Musica but I’m not sure how many of you want to go there.

My fellow Slayer  worshippers … you will like Public Display Of Dismemberment. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot else to take from World Painted Blood.

Not Of This God is the only song on World Painted Blood that reminds you why our planet and every other knows this band as “the mighty Slayer”. Not Of This God should’ve been the opening cut of this album.

Ab ketchup lagake kya faayda!


World Painted Blood does have a few tracks Slayer can include in their live sets… if they continue to perform, that is. If you need help getting over your disappointment over the rut the kings of Satanic thrash can’t seem to get out of, take your pick from the older stuff. Only Divine Intervention can save me now.

RATING: 2.5/5

Music Review: Megadeth’s Endgame


Protected: The Ramayan

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Cute Lisp

– by Purvi Makwana

I am really glad you find my lisp cute but I hope you don’t mind if I don’t take it as a compliment.

Yes, I have a lisp. No, it’s not fake.

It’s not like I went to UK for a week and came back

With 10 kilos of atrocious American accent in my bag

And find sadistic pleasure in unequally distributing it amongst friends and relatives.

No, it’s not like that. My lisp is not fake.

My lisp is not cute.

It isn’t a trick I picked up when I saw you as our eyes met across the room.

I did not think to myself that ‘let me use a lisp card’

So I can weasel a damned compliment from this guy.

You know, I apologize… I know you are being nice

But I swear if one more person tells me that my lisp is cute I will punch his teeth out.

One of the other things that I am frequently asked

Is if I have had my lisp since childhood.

Usually by the same guy who found my lovely inability

To speak out two very distinct letters (s and f) ‘cute’.


I usually prefer something along the lines of,

‘Steer clear,

My lisp is a symptom of swine flu.’

Something I picked up on my way to work.

I refuse for my lisp to be used

As an excuse

For your inability to figure out anything smarter to say

My lisp is not meant to be my cute quotient

My lisp does not define me as a person, my lisp is not a party trick

Guys, its time you order new pickup lines.


Bar Review: Sai Prasad

Food & Drink 24x7

Food & Drink 24x7

This isn’t a bar review, it’s to let you know there’s a place where you can go at anytime of the day to tank up. Located on the Western Express Highway between Andheri and Jogeshwari, Sai Prasad is on throughout the night and is frequented by drunkards and people who work in call centers. Haven’t tried the food there, so if you do be sure to let me know what you think of it. The alcohol is reasonably priced for a place like this – around 250/- for Antiquity/Signature/Blender’s Pride (180 ml) and 150/- for the costlier beers (650 ml). Buy booze from here on dry days. Yes, you can smoke cigarettes in there.


Bombaywatch ‘09/ The Great Wall Of Mumbai

[Excuse the date on the photos, need to reset the time a few hours ahead]

Aditya is Sanskrit for ‘The Sun God’, and I had to see what the fuss over ‘Chhatt Pooja’ is all about. Having had a rather merry time in South Bombay last evening, my routine of waking up before dawn went for a toss and I missed the grand festivities.

Flooded with messages urging me to go paint “The Great Wall Of Mumbai” on Tulsi Pipe Road (Mahim/Matunga/Dadar), I was infuriated at what the so-called intellectual section of the youth that can bring about a change shows enthusiasm for on days when beaches all over Bombay are destroyed by the god-fearing faithful.

I’m not going to write the hateful post I intended to, because the sight of Juhu Beach shook me up in such a way that I don’t feel strong enough to be pissed off. It’s not even something I feel like injecting humour into, so you can imagine how disheartening the experience was. Clicked a dozen odd pictures, of which four will do the talking here. They speak for the entire stretch, and represent every beach in the city I am madly in love with.

‘Ganpati Visarjan’, ‘Durga Puja’, and ‘Chhatt Pooja’ amongst other occasions…we Indians just love to throw shit in the sea in the name of religion. We’ll colour a BMC-donated wall, show concern for dying farmers elsewhere in the state of Maharashtra and protest against an upcoming statue off the city’s coastline but will do absolutely nothing as our side of the ocean is made to binge on what it is not meant to digest and purges out the garbage along with dead marine life. And then a bunch of concerned citizens will jump out of nowhere and pick some waste off the unappealing sand with slight help and a dash of glamour from some celebrities.

Festival after festival, year after year, decade after decade, generation after generation.

As of now, the only “great wall of Mumbai” is the invisible one Bombay is cowering behind.

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