Archive for November 15th, 2009


Fast Food

crab aditya mehta kya kehtaIt’s amusing how religion and faith determine and control your eating habits. Christianity is considered by many to be the weakest religion. While it is weak, at least it does not stop people from eating what they want. Everyone enslaved by the ordinary mortal who was nailed to a cross is at least free when it comes to diet.

All Christians I have met are well fed and it shows on their face how much they enjoy their pork and wine. Other religions are as weak, if not weaker.

Muslims are taught from the beginning of their lives that pork is unhygienic. They slaughter and eat goats and claim it is a sacrifice for Allah but what the devout musalman will never know is how good sausages taste on pizza (especially at Alfredo’s in Juhu), and that minced mutton should be left for nachos.

meat mehta kya kehtaAnd then they observe daytime fasts for a whole month. Okay, but does making up for it by overeating at night make sense? And whats this rubbish about not even swallowing your own saliva? Obviously, growing a coolass beard and bending over for a god that never was doesn’t give you any idea what it’s like to have a salami sandwich or ham, bacon & cheese with a pot of tea on any morning.

Hindus are probably the greatest hypocrites of all. They eat chicken, mutton and pork but refuse to eat beef because their religion tells them that the cow is a sacred animal. So kill pigs, hens, goats and fish but hold yourself back from sinking your teeth into a cooked cow because someone told you that the cow is your mother and a holy animal. If you really believe that shit, I’d like to make a garlic pepper steak out of your mom. What is really stupid is that people will eat meat only on certain days. Does it taste better on Tuesdays? Eating meat on Thursdays makes you a sinner? Depriving yourself of non-vegetarian meals on Saturdays makes you holy?

seafood aditya mehta kya kehtaAnd now, Jainism. The religion I was born into, the one I laugh at the most. I’ve had people tell me that no matter what I believe in or follow, I will always be a Jain because it is my father’s religion. It makes me wonder how much studying in good schools and colleges and being literate and open minded really educates them. It makes me wonder where all their male-female equality bullshit has been shoved because not one of the people who try to convince me that I am a Jain because my dad is one has bothered to find out which religion my mom was born into and what she follows. Not that it really matters because you are what you believe in and believe yourself to be, not what you are born into and brought up to believe or what your parents are or what the world wants you to be. I am proud to say that though my parents have their beliefs, they dont do mindless shit like going to temples, fasting and conducting shitass poojas.

True Jains believe that fasting purifies the mind and body. This is ridiculous, depriving your body and brain of food prevents you from thinking clearly. The digestive system is like your heart and lungs, it doesn’t need rest.This is not to say that you should stuff yourself with food everytime it comes in front of you. The body secretes digestive juices, that creates hunger pangs and if you dont give yourself food when you are hungry, it messes up your stomach and health. So going without food and water for days will not purify their mind, body and spirit but it will make them unhealthy and sick and take them closer to their god, which is a good thing.

seafood platterAnd then, there are the educated people who think that fasting on certain days or abstaining from meat for a period of time will make get them what they want. Abstaining from certain food groups makes your wishes, dreams and desires come true?

If a man who has lived all his life in a forest and eats what his body and tastebuds crave was brought to the city and made to observe all these stupid customs, imagine how confused and amused he would be. Our bodies are designed to digest vegetarian and non-vegetarian food, so if you don’t eat meat because you don’t enjoy the taste or just like animals too much it’s totally cool, but to deprive yourself of a seafood sizzler because you think not eating it will make you spiritual is plain dumb.

foodchainHumans are two-legged animals. Big animals eat smaller animals. We humans, with our intellect, were smart enough to break the food chain, which is why we can hunt down and eat bigger animals. To anyone who eats for pleasure or to satisfy their hunger, the idea of eating only certain animals only on certain days and then fasting to clean your system would sound silly. I think animals are better off than us, they eat to satisfy their hunger and maybe for taste, without looking at the calendar. They truly deserve good food, now if only they knew what cooked meat tastes like…

[I wrote this post a few years ago and it makes perfect sense to me even now. The veg/non-veg debate is still on in my head, though.]

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