Fast Food

crab aditya mehta kya kehtaIt’s amusing how religion and faith determine and control your eating habits. Christianity is considered by many to be the weakest religion. While it is weak, at least it does not stop people from eating what they want. Everyone enslaved by the ordinary mortal who was nailed to a cross is at least free when it comes to diet.

All Christians I have met are well fed and it shows on their face how much they enjoy their pork and wine. Other religions are as weak, if not weaker.

Muslims are taught from the beginning of their lives that pork is unhygienic. They slaughter and eat goats and claim it is a sacrifice for Allah but what the devout musalman will never know is how good sausages taste on pizza (especially at Alfredo’s in Juhu), and that minced mutton should be left for nachos.

meat mehta kya kehtaAnd then they observe daytime fasts for a whole month. Okay, but does making up for it by overeating at night make sense? And whats this rubbish about not even swallowing your own saliva? Obviously, growing a coolass beard and bending over for a god that never was doesn’t give you any idea what it’s like to have a salami sandwich or ham, bacon & cheese with a pot of tea on any morning.

Hindus are probably the greatest hypocrites of all. They eat chicken, mutton and pork but refuse to eat beef because their religion tells them that the cow is a sacred animal. So kill pigs, hens, goats and fish but hold yourself back from sinking your teeth into a cooked cow because someone told you that the cow is your mother and a holy animal. If you really believe that shit, I’d like to make a garlic pepper steak out of your mom. What is really stupid is that people will eat meat only on certain days. Does it taste better on Tuesdays? Eating meat on Thursdays makes you a sinner? Depriving yourself of non-vegetarian meals on Saturdays makes you holy?

seafood aditya mehta kya kehtaAnd now, Jainism. The religion I was born into, the one I laugh at the most. I’ve had people tell me that no matter what I believe in or follow, I will always be a Jain because it is my father’s religion. It makes me wonder how much studying in good schools and colleges and being literate and open minded really educates them. It makes me wonder where all their male-female equality bullshit has been shoved because not one of the people who try to convince me that I am a Jain because my dad is one has bothered to find out which religion my mom was born into and what she follows. Not that it really matters because you are what you believe in and believe yourself to be, not what you are born into and brought up to believe or what your parents are or what the world wants you to be. I am proud to say that though my parents have their beliefs, they dont do mindless shit like going to temples, fasting and conducting shitass poojas.

True Jains believe that fasting purifies the mind and body. This is ridiculous, depriving your body and brain of food prevents you from thinking clearly. The digestive system is like your heart and lungs, it doesn’t need rest.This is not to say that you should stuff yourself with food everytime it comes in front of you. The body secretes digestive juices, that creates hunger pangs and if you dont give yourself food when you are hungry, it messes up your stomach and health. So going without food and water for days will not purify their mind, body and spirit but it will make them unhealthy and sick and take them closer to their god, which is a good thing.

seafood platterAnd then, there are the educated people who think that fasting on certain days or abstaining from meat for a period of time will make get them what they want. Abstaining from certain food groups makes your wishes, dreams and desires come true?

If a man who has lived all his life in a forest and eats what his body and tastebuds crave was brought to the city and made to observe all these stupid customs, imagine how confused and amused he would be. Our bodies are designed to digest vegetarian and non-vegetarian food, so if you don’t eat meat because you don’t enjoy the taste or just like animals too much it’s totally cool, but to deprive yourself of a seafood sizzler because you think not eating it will make you spiritual is plain dumb.

foodchainHumans are two-legged animals. Big animals eat smaller animals. We humans, with our intellect, were smart enough to break the food chain, which is why we can hunt down and eat bigger animals. To anyone who eats for pleasure or to satisfy their hunger, the idea of eating only certain animals only on certain days and then fasting to clean your system would sound silly. I think animals are better off than us, they eat to satisfy their hunger and maybe for taste, without looking at the calendar. They truly deserve good food, now if only they knew what cooked meat tastes like…

[I wrote this post a few years ago and it makes perfect sense to me even now. The veg/non-veg debate is still on in my head, though.]

27 Responses to “Fast Food”

  1. 1 navin
    November 15, 2009 at 03:40

    i agree with everything in the blog…i enjoyed it.
    i also enjoyed that picture of the food chain….LOL…:)


  2. 2 jagger
    November 15, 2009 at 06:51

    GOD will punish you for your sins!
    you are a heretic and are uttering Blasphemy!


    actually, if i remember correctly, dont you go vegetarian at times? hmmm


    • November 15, 2009 at 07:03

      That’s correct, I go vegetarian every time someone puts a sexy vegetarian meal before me πŸ˜›

      Healthy and tasty vegetarian food can keep me off meat and alcohol.

      As for god and religion…you know they’re my favourite things to bash. The children of god are going to start getting it from me any moment now πŸ˜‰

      No lord shall stand before myself!


  3. 4 Sid Telang
    November 15, 2009 at 07:08

    Have you tried deer jerkeys?… they taste amazingly good!!

    I agree with the part where “organised religion” gets a little bit too OCD and gets picky about things, and then it just does not follow common sense….


    • November 15, 2009 at 07:12

      I’ve wanted to taste deer meat ever since I read some Shakepeare stuff about ‘hunting venison’.

      When has organized religion ever followed common sense? πŸ˜€


      • 6 Sid Telang
        November 15, 2009 at 07:15

        man you should really try deer, its taste comes closest to combination of beef and chicken, a perfect blend πŸ˜‰

        And yep, about organized religion, you are absolutely right… what a bummer.


  4. November 15, 2009 at 07:19

    I’ve heard some very good things about kangaroo meat.

    That Shakespeare/venison thing is from As You Like It, btw πŸ™‚


    • 8 Sid Telang
      November 15, 2009 at 07:22

      As You Like It!!!
      Reminds me of the days when I used to spent worthless amount of hours (atleast then i thought it was worthless) memorizing the quotes, like the quote of “Quality of mercy”, wait a minute, is that the Merchant of Venice?….


  5. 11 Janak
    November 16, 2009 at 04:54

    Mehta Baba ki jai ho! Jai ho!


  6. November 16, 2009 at 05:07

    Till the time I read tis post I had no clue that you were Jain. Look what damage your religion/ sect has done.

    Your religion is the reason why we have Jain sandwich, Jain dabeli and Jain TV.

    Looking forward to the Jainsaw Massacre,


    • November 16, 2009 at 07:01

      I’m NOT Jain, please…and I have nothing to do with a sect that does somersaults in fear everytime someone offers them onions, potatoes and garlic.

      How do you make a mob of Jain fanatics disperse?

      Throw a beetroot at them.


  7. November 16, 2009 at 05:31

    I sure as hell wasn’t expecting a jain reaction, heh.

    No Jain, no pain.


  8. 15 June
    November 16, 2009 at 07:39

    If you really believe that shit, I’d like to make a garlic pepper steak out of your mom. — LMFAO! Mehta, you rule the wuurdzz πŸ˜›

    I’m a vegetarian by choice and not religion and I dont buy that religion crasspp anyway. But hell yeah, this is a very logical argument that I WILL buy and hence you #win! =D

    Keep it going Mehta bhi kya Kehta! πŸ˜‰


  9. November 18, 2009 at 13:58

    Valid arguments there dude! Fasting and then thinking about food doesn’t get you anywhere. Doing something only because someone tells you to do it without asking why is utter bullshit and complete sheep mentality. I’m a Jain too but eat everything I can get my hands on out of choice and/or reason not because it is written in the scriptures. Organized religion has enslaved us humans…Grrrr..


  10. 17 Arjun
    December 10, 2009 at 08:27

    Awesome post.awesome blog.Religion is the biggest brainwash ever.
    I’ll eat what I want.


  11. February 1, 2011 at 01:51

    What a great web log. I spend hours on the net reading blogs, about tons of various subjects. I have to first of all give praise to whoever created your theme and second of all to you for writing what i can only describe as an fabulous article. I honestly believe there is a skill to writing articles that only very few posses and honestly you got it. The combining of demonstrative and upper-class content is by all odds super rare with the astronomic amount of blogs on the cyberspace.


  12. April 16, 2011 at 13:41

    This is a great read, everytime i read it.
    It makes me salivate at the thought of meat, and its great fun to also swallow the saliva.

    My Old Count, Just had smoked deer meat two days back. πŸ˜‰

    All Hails to all sorts of food that keeps us alive.


  13. 20 Nikhil Allug
    April 17, 2011 at 04:39

    Damn! I was looking out for a religious pig and/or Veg is the best post int he comments so that i could bash the fuck of it that person, Sadly None 😦

    I admit, I am a kaafir/ naastik/ chutiya. why? because i am a hindu and i enjoy beef and pork and i find spending money on veg food in a hotel such a waste as those guys smartly price the veg almost as much as the non-veg! Thats a complete waste for a carnivore like me.

    Religion is the ultimate MTV BAKRA on this planet which makes people believe in heaven and hell and all that crap…i would rather still be called an ape if this is the way we evolved into sophisticated beings where people feel ki i cant trust him cause he is Muslim and he must be miser he is sindhi…every person is different, grow up!


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