Archive for November 21st, 2009


The Worst Italian Food In Mumbai

There are some places you should never go to even if you’re starving, and I’m going to put Penne right on top of that list. It’s not like I haven’t had bad dining experiences before but Penne in Juhu wins the first prize for the worst dining experience a bunch of humans have ever had together. Sorry, maybe I’m exaggerating, but there’s no denying that Penne in Juhu serves the worst Italian food in Mumbai.

On being seated at our table, we were asked if we wanted regular water or preferred packaged stuff, and then a waiter announced they don’t serve “regular water” and got us a bottle of Himalayan mineral water. The rest of my family is vegetarian, so we called for some ghaas-poos and what followed was the poorest eating experience we could’ve asked for.

Penne serves grossly overpriced tasteless food which will neither fill your stomach nor thrill your tastebuds, and with the way they’ve priced things everything can rightfully be called poor.

The Balsamic Mushrooms (290/-) were okay, the Minestrone (250/-) was not happening, the Mediterranean Cottage Cheese (550/-) was lifeless. My brother looked heartbroken when his Penne Vodka (490/-) arrived, and we were as disappointed by the tasteless food as by the tiny portions.

Now I understand some food is meant to be bland, but we’ve all eaten Italian food before and have enjoyed it. My brother tried to drown his Penne Vodka in Tabasco, and my cousin too expressed her disgust on finding every single thing we called for lacking in character. Meanwhile, the staff was just being snooty and were plying us with Himalayan mineral water (85/-) and I nearly tossed a spoonful of Moussaka (550/-) at a bored looking waiter. The only edible food item was the curry that came with the vegetarian Couscous, and Penne should serve that as soup, considering they fool patrons anyway.

Penne in Juhu is the first restaurant in Mumbai that refused to serve me regular drinking water, and I think anyone who makes noises about putting a glass of water in front of you and is thinking of making some ridiculous profit right there isn’t fit to serve anyone food. And it does reflect in the extremely low quality of food Penne serves. When the prices are steep, the food should be okay at least, but it wasn’t even that. Penne has absolutely nothing going for it because even the music they play is shit.

I was eager to try Couscous (550/-), and am not sure whether it’s still the restaurant that’s got it wrong or if it’s meant to taste that bad. I am now eager to piss all over a plate of Couscous and show the staff and management of Penne some real mineral water.

If you’re wondering why shitholes like Penne get rave reviews, it’s because when people spend a few thousand bucks on something shitty, they might not like to admit it was a total waste.

If there’s someone you don’t like and need to get back at, please recommend Penne to them as the ultimate place for Italian cuisine. I am never going to forgive my parents for taking me to Penne in Juhu.

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November 2009
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