Archive for November 26th, 2009


The Greater Of Two Evils

Dec 02, 2008

Terrorism has cast a shroud over the city of Bombay (not Mumbai, no), and its people have forgotten how to smile. Everything’s so gloomy, the sad Doordarshan tune would go really well with it. A big deal is being made out of Ram Gopal Varma visiting the site of carnage, probably because he will make a realistic film from whatever he absorbs from the remains of the hotel. As long as the movie doesn’t have Urmila Matondkar, I don’t see why people should complain. There’s a movie made on 9/11 and pretty much every other such tragic event, so let’s not pull this man up for doing what any filmmaker worth his pepper would.

Of course, I wasn’t expecting any of our politicians to barge inside the Oberoi and do anything fancy. I wasn’t expecting them to hide under their beds, either. Like a lot of other people, I didn’t exactly have a soft corner for the lot, but my loathing has reached a new level after watching them spout piles of arse on news channels. All the hooligans who were making noise and staking claim to Bombay (nope, still not Mumbai) by performing silly rituals like pelting stones at lifeless bus-stops and burning pink buses, have been squatting at home, perhaps wondering how they developed another ass-crack.

Forget saving Mumbai (I write it that way on my postal address) from the baddie outsiders (they came from outside outside), they didn’t offer our heroic outsiders snacks or even a glass of water. Maybe they’re saving it for some pretentious pooja which will screw the city in a righteous way. It’s okay now, boys…you can come out from under the bed and continue enjoying your zhunka bhakar.

My pretty girlfriend (who hates pink buses being set afire) has threatened me with dire consequences if I don’t exercise my right to vote. But who do I vote for? Politicians should come with a label stating who the lesser evil is so I can vote the uncouth, illiterate idiot into power.

By the way, I can speak, read and write three languages fluently and have decided I don’t need to learn Marathi. If anyone has a problem with that, I’m ready to throw the first rock. Buzz off!

Coming soon…Fictional Reality

Posted by Aditya Mehta { 10 } Comments
[From my Buzz18 blog “Lashkar-E-Shaitan”]

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