Movie Review: Tum Mile (2009)

-by Devdutt Nawalkar

Film:  “Tum Mile” (2009)

Director: “Kunal Deshmukh”

Actors: “Emraan Hashmi”, “Soha Ali Khan”

Emraan Hashmi is a strange one. He looks like someone who eats Brittania sliced bread and Kissan ketchup for breakfast but his movies manage to hold my ADD-riddled mind’s attention to a fair extent. He’s not a great actor by any stretch of the imagination but there is a certain mystifying quantity about the Serial Kisser that makes it well nigh impossible to hate him. I have seen a few of his movies without uprooting the scant remains of my rapidly denuding scalp, though going by the prolonged detours to the crapper that Bollywood’s been taking of late, that dubious compliment is more flummery than anything else. Regardless, I like Emraan Hashmi because he comes in and does his thing without bullshit histrionics. I put much stock in the mediocrely competent.

Tum Mile is a story of love, ensuing obstacles, and reconciliation, against the overarching backdrop of a natural calamity that I suspect to be the July 26, 2005 flood in Bombay. Directed by Kunal Deshmukh, it stars the delectably bushy-browed Soha Ali Khan and hogger-in-chief of the review opening, Emraan Hashmi, in the lead roles. The movie opens with the Bombay meteorological department forecasting, belatedly of course, a severe storm headed for town (On a tangent, is it just me or does the met dept. seem like it’s being worked out of the back of an Udipi joint?). Cut to an airplane headed for Bombay and we are introduced to our protagonists; Akshay (Hashmi) and Sanjana (Khan), who seem to share an awkward past and spend time exchanging furtive glances and inconsequential nothings. The movie narrates its story in a reverse chronological fashion using frequent cutbacks to the past to explain what’s gone on between the two. Lost, anyone?

Akshay was a struggling artist in Cape Town, South Africa (hurray! Another location sabotaged by Bollywood towards the unholy end of embarassing as many expats as possible) who met and fell in love with rich girl Sanjana. They courted, the dalliance taking up quite a bit of the movie’s time, moved in, and started playing house in fair fashion. Of course, all-conquering Mammon had to poke his green nose in the middle of conjugal bliss. Akshay fell on hard times, unable to whore out his vision and artistic integrity, and generally grew to be an unpleasant grump. To make matters worse, his muse deserted him at the most inopportune of times as well. Lovely, sacrificng Sanjana offered to help him out with her daddy’s money which obviously rankled Akshay something fierce. Their relationship soured over the constant bickering and ego massaging. They subsequently went their seperate ways when opportunity knocked for Akshay in faraway Australia and he, in the manner of all great chauvinists, expected Sanjana to pack up after him and come smother his bread with tomato sauce Down Under.

Cut to the present, which is 6 years after the events in South Africa, and the storm’s got a thing in for Bombay. The two, by happenstance, have some business in the city, and are caught unawares in the maelstrom. Sanjana’s the damsel in distress, and Akshay’s her knight in soaking armour. You get the drift. There’s nothing like a disaster for star-crossed lovers to work out their difference and assume the convivial pose again. There are nods to The Perfect Storm, The Day After Tomorrow, and Titanic – in other words, the holy trinity of cheese. There’s a bit of gratuitous killing too; Akshay’s friend Vivek, with a loving, docile wife back home, is popped off for no good reason. But I’m always up for some senseless deaths so it’s all good.

I hope that you, reader, don’t care that I’ve given out the whole story. Idhar kuch naya nahi hai, aage chalo..

Hashmi is competent without being stellar. Soha Ali Khan is one of the more promising actresses out there. She’s peppy when needed and does the serious bits to the hilt as well. Music’s not exceptional which is a bit of a let down considering that this is a Mahesh Bhatt ripoff..er, production and that his movies usually have a couple of nice tunes.

This isn’t a great movie or anything. I haven’t the slightest idea why I’m even writing this thing. But I will say that my brain’s reasonably unscathed, and that I won’t go to bed with my scalp flaming red. Another factor that may have figured into my benevolence is that I was one of the many trapped out in the city on that fateful day four years ago. I was in a completely strange locale in New Bombay, having joined a new job, and I spent nearly twenty hours bedraggled, trying to hitch my way back home and, in general, fearing for my life. No exaggeration that; there were times when I was inside cars and the water was upto the windshields and there were times when I was wading through chest high garbage. Terrifying and unforgettable.

6 Responses to “Movie Review: Tum Mile (2009)”

  1. 1 Sam
    November 28, 2009 at 07:52

    I got a big reservation about the plot of this movie. It’s unmistakably based on 26th July. It’s dull and drab. It’s a complete waste of time. I got no qualms in saying that Hashmi is an atrocious actor beyond compare. He is as devoid of emotions as a bot. The crux of acting lies in emoting with subtlety. And for Soha Ali Khan, she seems frozen in every frame, and quite frankly, she is being offered movies simply coz she happens to be Saif’s sister. She is beautiful alright, but acting is definitely not her forte. She is as lifeless as her Mum used to be in all Rajesh Khanna’s super hit flicks.

    Back to Hashmi, he is complete plain jane as far as his acting goes. But, there is no match to his serial kisser tag, not even actors from down south. He is unabashed and why wouldn’t he??? He gets to lock his lips with quite a number of fair dames.

    But, this movie is mediocre at its best. It’s an example of how to waste a real weighty topic by making a dud of a movie. Hell, even all Scary movies are more fun than this sordid, painfully numb movie, if it is at all be allowed to be considered a movie.

    The only sane thing this debutant director did was to choose a good, sensitive topic. But beyond that, it’s nothing short of amateurish. Any good film school student would have made a good job of this plot. I am sorry for being blunt. But, i would still like my money back. The cast was a disaster. A sure shot formula for making a flop movie. God, why dis i ever go to this inane movie with woeful acting displayed replete with apathy towards the audience. I almost popped the Sleeping pill to give my brain, a much deserved rest.

    All in all, a disastrous movie – if you have nothing better to do. Still, i would advise not to watch this movie. You’re probably better off watching Tom & Jerry and get a chuckle or at least a smile out of it, with their histrionics.


  2. 2 Sam
    November 28, 2009 at 07:58

    Dude, the only good thing i have read about this movie after the ignominy of watching it, is your review. It’s the only saving grace. Kudos to you, bro. But, pardon my blunt admission that it’s apathetic towards the hopeful audience. It robbed them off their precious time, forget about the bucks.


  3. 3 Sid Telang
    November 28, 2009 at 08:19

    Good job…Very nice review…
    Frankly this movie depressed me… not because of the way it was made…the production was decent in my opinion….. i mean the story was just depressing…. the one guy who was little bit cheerful died because of his own goofiness 🙂
    Die Die Die!!!! my darlin!


  4. November 28, 2009 at 17:44

    Soha has the family beak.


  5. August 16, 2014 at 20:56

    I think the admin of this site is really working hard in support of his site, for the reason that here every information is quality based stuff.


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