Suck On

Dec 20, 2008

India has an enviable underground music scene. Still in foetal stage, yet developing slowly. Rock music has been in India for a couple of decades now, and the heavy metal scene is inflating as we speak, preparing itself to explode in the face of a nation that doesn’t have an inkling about the abundance of musical talent it contains.

Bollywood lyricist Javed Akhtar made a comment on something he clearly doesn’t know much about. In an interview on a website, the celebrity said “In India, rock music is a very shallow and superficial genre. They dress and style themselves like American rockers but the words and lyrics are archaic and obsolete. The words in an average Indi-Rock number revert to trite filmy clichés like balma, baliye and mahiya.”

I find it ridiculous that an established personality from the film industry should put his ignorance up on display by making such a careless remark.

First of all, the idea of rock music (or anything to do with it) being used as a theme of a Hindi movie is blasphemous, especially an out-and-out commercial Bollywood flick. Those who listen to ‘lesser’ music might not be aware that rock/metal is a lot more than just music. There is a pretty good reason why it has such a loyal following, and a lot of rock/metal fanatics don’t call it music, they call it ‘religion’ and know it as a way of life.

Rock culture in India is an underground movement, and most of us metalheads want it to stay that way. As if Hindi rock isn’t a genre pathetic, pretentious and embarrassing enough, Rock On had to come along. Now, I love talking (and occasionally swearing) in Hindi, and I worship heavy metal, but Hindi rock is just not happening. It is never deep enough (even when it really needs to be) and the spirit of rock n’ roll doesn’t ever come across. Bad luck, folks.

On top of all this, a songwriter (whose work I find average, unexciting and overrated) makes an attempt at working on a concept which will remain alien to him for a very long time to come. The least he could do is not make a fool of himself by commenting on a genre he can’t contribute to.

What the man doesn’t know is rock bands don’t use clichéd Hindi words. If they do, it’s not rock music. If Rock On had a pop group doing whatever in the movie, I would’ve thought of the soundtrack as pretty decent pop music, because that’s what it is. While it is definitely advanced for Bollywood, rock bands in the Stone Age made music that was more rock ‘n’ roll, so boys and girls…

If the movie is as successful as is claimed, and if it has led to many youngsters picking up a guitar thinking they’ve discovered rock music, I’d say Rock On! has given birth to an entire generation of poseurs. Congrats to you all.

One should be very careful when one speaks of things as sacred as rock/metal music. Especially when one hasn’t heard even one rock album in his entire life. And by ‘rock album’, I don’t mean the soundtrack of Rock On!

A buffoon who writes lyrics like an eight-year-old Bryan Adams should take special precautions to ensure he doesn’t come across as an imbecile.

Rigid as my views are and narrow-minded as I sound, I’m not one to let my hang-ups prevent me from enjoying a script/movie that’s supposed to be good. Think I’ll borrow a pirated DVD of Rock On! from a friend next week. Buzz off!

Coming soon…If You Don’t Like Metal, You’re Not My Friend

Posted by Aditya Mehta { 18 } Comments
[From my Buzz18 blog “Lashkar-E-Shaitan”]

11 Responses to “Suck On”

  1. 1 Devdutt
    December 11, 2009 at 00:39

    I love the screen capture but you really need to clean out your inbox hahaha!


  2. 3 Nishant
    December 11, 2009 at 04:09

    The movie isn’t half-bad but Javed Akhtar is a moron.

    Here’s Bollywood gossip — Javed is fucking Alka Yagnik.


  3. 4 Arjun
    December 11, 2009 at 08:53

    “Rock On! has given birth to an entire generation of poseurs.”

    How true.Last month’s Indian Ocean gig at Andheri(Farhan Akthar was headlining,WTF??) was an absolute nightmare in terms of the quality of people attending.I mean they were discussing “rock star SHAAN” on stage.The same is true for every other college rock show.
    Decent bands,shitall crowds.


  4. 5 Sam
    December 11, 2009 at 13:21

    Sensational gossip would be when Javed Akhtar is having a threesome with Shabana Azmi and Honey Irani, his first wife. He and his bitchy wife( Shabana) have made a conscious habit of sticking their dick and twats….. errrrrrr… i meant their slimy, slithery tongues at everything that is alien to them. May be, they aren’t satisfied by bullshitting each other. You know, like they say, ‘What does a couple of croaking frogs from the well (Amateurish Bollywood Music scene) know about the ocean of real, adrenaline pumping Rock / Heavy Metal music.

    It’s apparent that morons shouldn’t stick their insignificant organs where they don’t belong. The old fella may have given a few hits in association with Salman’s dad, Salim Khan, who is a thorough gentleman. Everyone in the industry knows, Javed Akhtar is a Pitt Viper who befriends his trusted allies ( Read Salim Khan aka Salman Khan’s dad & one half of the famed Salim – Javed duo of the 1970’s) by sticking his fangs into them.

    And, that slut shouldn’t even open her shitty mouth. Every time she speaks, she seems to be suffering from verbal chronic diarrhoea. 😛

    It will take multiple lives to even fathom the art of Rock music. They are shamelessly oblivious to the crux of it. Still, here they are mouthing off about a revolution, they will never be a part of. Mr. Lyricist, at this age, you are better off taking viagra and screwing your bitchy spouse! 😛


  5. 6 Roy
    December 15, 2009 at 08:18

    Just an observation: I see a folder called Trance at the bottom of your screen capture. 😀


  6. 8 the wisest mongoose
    June 14, 2011 at 18:12

    i just sent you a huge rant. I will be sending you the ass cancer bill.


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