Why I Loved 2008

Dec 26, 2008

Some awesome things have happened in 2008, and it has been the best year of my life so far. Here’s a summary of the unbelievably cool stuff that’s been going on with me.

First of all, I had a massive break-up just before 2008 began. Even though I wept like a pussy I didn’t forego the annual trip I make to Goa every January in Anjuna. I licked a transparent drop off the back of my right palm, understood everything about myself and the universe through hallucinations and came back to whatever was left of my senses and Bombay, only to return to Goa in June. This time, it was to meet a cool hot chick with whom I danced to some trance music outside Curlie’s at Anjuna beach.

Oh, the first thing I should’ve boasted about is my death metal band Exhumation winning Unchained ’08… on February 29, that too. My share of the prize money made it slightly easier for me to fly to Bangalore to witness thrash metal legends Megadeth in action.

Also attended a couple of fashion shows and spent most of that time at the free-booze bar validating whisky cocktails. A cop took advantage of my being drunk and handed me someone else’s license after stopping me at a check-point.

Then I went to Rajasthan for a month with my best friend who is now my girlfriend also. We went to Pushkar and some beautiful remote villages located deep inside the state using a useless bike. In Pushkar, I was accosted by a pandit who started telling me about the place without my having asked for his bullshit information. Y P Pandit asked to see my hand and started chanting something. Now I find these religious sales tactics a tad silly and decided to have some fun at what should have been my expense and laughed aloud when he said I owed him 1100 bucks. What a sucker of a priest, trying to squeeze money out of me!

Over the next two days, the semi-clad pandit always managed to spot me in the crowded market and if it weren’t for his stupid grin I might have been polite to him. Still breathing just to hear that I am a Satanist, asshole? But my Bombay Hindi did the trick before that. A firm ‘Dimaag mat chaat‘ (don’t lick my mind) made him back off for good, the stupid grin still plastered across his greedy face, while I proceeded with my guitar to jam with a bald British flautist on the hotel lawn overlooking the Brahmasarovar.

On returning to Bombay, I landed the coolest job on the planet thanks to my shoelaces which were untied. I watch movies and listen to music albums and write my ruthless opinions about them. I get to praise Metallica, Guns N’ Roses and Ram Gopal Varma as much as I want and also make fun of ridiculous celebrity statements with a good amount of enthusiasm.

Oh yes, check out the irony. I’m the only Satanist on Earth who uploads Christmas carols and makes slideshows on movies to watch during this cheery festive season. Most of my friends are thoroughly amused so you too are allowed to laugh… just this once. Buzz off!

Coming soon…Not too much, though – and don’t show your teeth


The biased views expressed in this awesome blog belong to none other than me. Who else would they belong to, jackass? My kickass opinions are NOT endorsed by my employers or organisation, mainly because no one agrees with me. Also, this blog may contain explicit language not suitable for retards.

Posted by Aditya Mehta { 2 } Comments
(From my Buzz18 blog “Lashkar-E-Shaitan”)

5 Responses to “Why I Loved 2008”

  1. 1 Sam
    December 19, 2009 at 07:07

    First things first, “You wept like a pussy!!!!” That remark cracked me up, bro. It’s frigging hilarious. It seems 2008 was nostalgic to you just as 2007 summers were to me – That was the time when i got laid! Excuse my loose cannon talks. But, they were the luckiest days of my life.

    I can’t believe my lucky stars, i managed to impress a Gujju chic, who was some light years elder to me, a couple of years back! First time, she took me to her place for some “Coffee” at 10 PM. Ahhhhh…. No No it’s not moaning or groaning, no loose talks for me. I am trying hardest not to remember those exciting times of 8 months, i spent with her. 😀

    Dude, let me tell you, that memory is still fresh in my mind. Our exploits didn’t stop there. Somewhere in the middle of June’07 , it was pouring cats and dogs the. I was Andheri then working with Big Tree Entertainment for http://www.bookmyshow.com. I thank my lucky stars till date, for that Costa Coffee shop that was inaugurated. And that being just a few hops away from my workplace, i and my colleagues used to frequent the place that was a “chic magnet” to them.

    But, after a week or so, this same Gujju chic came with her gang of uptown, devil may care attitude kinda girl friends. Their noisy, chirps attracted my gaze towards her. And, yeah, i had more hair back then on my now, clean shaven head! 😛

    I happened to give the ‘look’ – babe, you seem intelligent of the lot. Let’s share a smile or two. But, one of her bitchy friends noticed me, making a subtle gestures at Puja. Finally, i mustered the courage to open up a bit, and, smile unhesitatingly. That was an ice breaker, for me. Then, she went outside alone! I got the hint, i followed her like ‘how mouse follows a cheese’ 😛

    Then, bam!!!!!!! We were in the middle of animated conversation of getting to know each other.
    We exchanged our numbers, Nope not her specifics! , i meant her cell number. We began talking uninhibited like a stallion on a wide, open ranch, from dusk to dawn, almost!

    Then, we started hitting it off. After a week exactly, she gave me a buzz at 7:30 PM, saying, “Today, i am free-free!!!”. I was a morose then, i said, come again! She exclaims, “exactly, cum again!” hahaha. I found that amusing afterward. Anyway, it was also pouring then.

    After, i got off work, she was waiting for me, patiently for 45 minutes outside my work place.
    Then, when i finally turned up, we scurried for cover in her car. Then, she told, i know a place, where we can ‘talk’ and have solitude!

    I knew, ‘This is it! Today’s my luckiest day of my adult life!!!’. We went to a secluded place, in Parle, somewhere. She parked her car, and before i knew what hit me, she was at it!!
    She was fiery, i almost feared for my ‘little Sam’. I said, ‘Babe, take it easy’. 😛

    She said, fuck off! hahahaha ( Mind you, that were her exact words.)

    Then what happened next is the best intimate moments of my frigging life, not that, i never had afterward. But, it was totally unexpected, not preplanned, so extra special as it happened in the spur of the moment. And icing on the cake, is it was my first time in her Car
    ( Alto)!!!!!

    Bro, let me tell you, it’s the most fuckall car in the universe, for sheer rigidity, no scope for maneuverability whatsoever! But we managed to get through it not once, but TWICE!!!

    So, this is me, Sam and my buccaneering exploits like a cowboy riding cowgirls with elan and verve! 😛


  2. 2 Sam
    December 19, 2009 at 07:23

    I may cheekily add, it was ‘Parle’ NOT ‘Parle G’, not that it’s hard for me to find the g-spots! 😛 hahahaha


  3. 3 Vidya
    December 22, 2009 at 12:16

    I dont think this Sam guy is ever going to get laid again ha ha


  4. 4 Abhimanyu
    December 23, 2009 at 06:15

    2010 is gonna kick ass for you, bro….just wait and watch!
    All the fuckin’ best things will happen to ya! Peace out!!!!


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