Songs I Hate – 1

Of course you’ve heard music that makes you want to shoot the artist dead, here’s some songs that make me cringe and slap people who put on this shit expecting to please me. In no particular order because they all suck.

Teenager In Love – Red Hot Chili Peppers

The favourite band of pseudo-intellectual yuppies, RHCP have made some fantastic music for most of their career. I had a tiny bit of respect for them because they kicked my brown ass with songs like “Give It Away” and “Under The Bridge”. Till I joined a stupid advertising firm where one almost-fat idiot would play Teenager In Love. This chubby boy played that song twice a day for all of the nine days I was there, and RHCP is responsible in a big way for making me walk out of that place, never to return. “Teenager In Love” sounds like a happy “Last Kiss”, the only difference being Last Kiss is a good song. I bet Red Hot Chili Peppers started to suck after most of them went clean, which goes to show that crazy rockers should remain crazy and never sober up. Want another example? Listen to the stupid chorus on Snow, just pay attention to what Anthony Keidis is singing there. Go back to wearing socks on stage, Tony, even though I don’t care about seeing you or any of your cheese-ass bandmates in the buff. Your new music is not my aeroplane.

Stand Up For Your Right – Bob Marley

Don’t tell me any of you take this guy seriously. A stoner hippie who played the same reggae chords over and over again, and that awful chorus on “Buffalo Soldier”. For some time I liked “Legalize It”, but even that started sounding lame when I figured toking was the only thing Bob Marley was passionate about. “Stand Up For Your Right”, my ass. If Bob had half a brain, he would’ve got that wound on his leg treated instead of lying down and smoking spliffs and eventually dying of gangrene. Anyway, if that hadn’t happened, the sheriff would’ve shot him.

Jiya Se Jiya – A R Rahman

I can’t complain about the music here, Rahman has a way with beats and tunes but he should give up trying to become a vocalist. The most painfully annoying voice around is not a good topping for very good music. Right from the moment “Jiya Se Jiya” begins, I want to assassinate A R Rahman. I don’t care how many international awards he picks up (whether he deserves them or not is another thing), Allah Rakha Rahman should quit trying to push himself as a singer. Does anyone remember that terrible rendition of “Vande Mataram”? I still can’t get over how poorly he did it.

Just An Illusion – Imagination

When your infant refuses to sleep at night, just put this on and you’ll be lulling it into a fucking coma. I’ve heard this plenty of times at Toto’s Garage, and every time it has made me want to throw my overpriced beer on someone. The chorus gets repeated around 50 times in the song and I when I close my eyes in that drunk state, I can only think of ten fat, black chicks with permed hair singing like buffaloes in unison. For the longest time, I thought this was INXS at their creative worst, but then I found out “Just An Illusion” is by Imagination. Guess what the band lacks?

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

The most famous and the worst heartbreak song ever. Every chick who’s had her heart newly broken, and even some guys who got rejected by the college hottie will be moving to this shit after a few pegs. I really don’t mind hot women gyrating to “I Will Survive” or anything else, but ugly, fat chicks grooving to this track seems fitting. Had Gloria Gaynor taken a good look in the mirror before heading to that nightclub, she wouldn’t have had to sing this crap.

There are plenty of bad songs around, these are just the ones that have been pissing me off in recent times. I’m sick of writing this shit, and by the time this gets published, I’ll have watched Z Machine live at The Blue Frog and will have killed the neighbourhood with Last Days Of Humanity. Noise!

49 Responses to “Songs I Hate – 1”

  1. 1 Devdutt
    February 2, 2010 at 04:21

    For the love of everything holy, please disrobe the conman that is AR Rahman! aargh I can’t take ppl singing this petty plagiarist’s praises.



    I haven’t heard the latest Slumdog allegation because my soundcard’s dissapeared up its rectum. You be the judge.

    Oooh but he’s only inspired! Ooh but he only uses tidbits and odd parts here and there! THIEF THIEF THIEF! Go die already, you medu vada!


  2. 6 Bhavdeep
    February 2, 2010 at 08:30

    Please add all linkin park songs as a contribution from my side


  3. February 2, 2010 at 09:20

    Agreed. Rahman HAS given better music than ‘Jai Ho’ and ‘Ring, ring, ringa…”. Does this reflect the poor tastes of the judges at the AMPAS?


  4. February 2, 2010 at 09:25

    “Does anyone remember that terrible rendition of “Vande Mataram”? I still can’t get over how poorly he did it.”

    The original rendition with the female chorus was done well though.


  5. 12 June
    February 2, 2010 at 11:20

    The band “Cake” did a pretty awesome cover of “I will survive” and if anything, I todally like it. Its super groovy and doesn’t sound like a sob at all. And as for the others, I’ll conveniently avoid 😀


  6. 14 navin
    February 2, 2010 at 16:28

    please include ‘Macarena’ by Los del Río and ‘Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba in part two of this series…LOL..


  7. 17 Nitin
    February 3, 2010 at 06:58

    tubthumping is still ok. i mean, it’s a drinking song after all. chumbawumba lol what a name…they have a really sad song called amnesia and the chorus is ‘i don’t rememnber’ LOL


  8. February 3, 2010 at 08:29

    Summer of 69
    Hotel California
    Smoke on the water
    Nothing Else Matters
    Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
    Rivers of Babylon

    And the rest of Hawaiian Shack playlist.


    • February 3, 2010 at 09:13

      Can’t hate Nothing Else Matters, Sir! It may be overplayed but let’s blame it on a certain thrash metal band from Mumbai…here’s a hint: the frontman is a paedophile.

      No, not me…I’m talking about the balding ghaati.


      • February 3, 2010 at 10:16

        I will only try to curb my hate. Can’t really take ugly drunk aunties bawling and balding ghaatis playing this one.

        Its like Govinda dancing to Burzum or Rakhi Sawant praising the latest Darkthrone album. Thats my point.

        NP: Metallica – Ecstasy of Gold \m/


    • 22 navin
      February 4, 2010 at 02:42

      hotel california…i agree…one of the shittiest songs that i ever heard


    • 23 Black Metal Elite
      February 4, 2010 at 08:34

      So if Govinda dances to Burzum or Rakhi Sawant praises the latest Darkthrone album will you stop listening to those bands? Does that say anything about these people (whoever they are) and the bands or does it say something about you?


      • February 4, 2010 at 09:05

        Sir BME, such a thought can occur only to a wicked few. Govinda can never dance to Burzum and Rakhi Sawant can never praise Darkthrone. Hence I won’t stop listening to these bands.

        btw it seems you are taking personal injury. And realize you Dickhead who calls himself BM Elite. No one is out to prove anything out here.

        Agios Ishyros Baphomet.


      • 25 Black Metal Poseur
        February 4, 2010 at 09:34

        I know Govinda can never dance to Burzum and Rakhi Sawant can never praise Darkthrone. What you should know is you’re the one who needs to make up these hypothetical situations to prove your point, IDIOT. I’m only making a mockery of your stupidity. I can call myself anything I want…that’s why it’s called ‘nickname’. See how I changed my name now? Even this is making a mockery of your comments.


  9. February 4, 2010 at 09:27

    Atleast I am not fake enough to dispel on who the fuck is Govinda or Rakhi Sawant, and on the other hand it seems you know both of them and still saying —-Does that say anything about these people (whoever they are). you know you remind me of Mayawati who shouts for reservations of backward classes, and proudly proclaims I’m a dalit.

    You are fucking similar. Black Metal Elite My ass…You are a Blackhead Miffed Dalit.

    and fyi in case you need further education:

    Mayawati – current CM of Indian State UP.
    Govinda – Bollywood actor.
    Rakhi Sawant – Bollywood item girl.


    • 27 Black Metal Poseur
      February 4, 2010 at 09:37

      I really didn’t know who they were. I don’t watch too many movies so I have no idea about these things. But you seem all too clued in. And this is not called education…I expect someone who appreciates black metal to understand that.


      • February 4, 2010 at 09:46

        Brother, if you are Indian living in India you don’t have to be ‘clued in’ to know these people. I hope you understand who a Paris Hilton is right???

        Also changing names only worsens your POVs. In India we call such people Behrupiyas – a nomadick tribe with fraudulent motives 🙂

        Regarding BM educatioon…kindly look this blog up…I have a post by the author most kind permission.

        PS: there was no attempt to demean Metallica, Burzum or Darkthrone in any way to whatever I’ve said.

        Now you can go and find some more innovative names for ghost-posting at blogs. 🙂


    • 29 Bhakti
      February 4, 2010 at 10:15

      I’m not your brother and I don’t live in India. I don’t read glossies or watch movies or television. I use my brother’s computer to record music and occasionally read about black and doom metal and that’s how I saw this website. Don’t worry about my POVs, they remain the same. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to make your points and only end up contradicting yourself. And so you have to resort to telling me what people in India call people who do such and such. I don’t need to read anything for Black Metal education, thank you.

      My main point is that you still haven’t made your point. Keep trying, loser. Because lots of people are going to be reading this. And what they will remember at the end of the day is that you couldn’t make your point and instead tried to divert this little rebuttal session in another direction by talking about vague things that bear no relevance to what you first said and to what I asked.

      Say anything you like, all people need to do to know where you come from is scroll up and down here. Good luck proving your point. You need it.


      • February 4, 2010 at 10:42

        You sure have a lot of time. You should be going back to your computer and listening to the latest posts on Black and doom metal across the www.

        And as I’ve mentioned earlier kid, I don’t have any point to prove. I was just very annoyed with your post to which I lashed out.

        “My main point is that you still haven’t made your point.” —- You English is pretty Indian though. lol.


  10. 31 Anirban
    February 4, 2010 at 11:45

    Don’t worry about her. You’re the kid here. Go back to your previous comment where you’ve spoken about the point you were trying to make. You’ve made a complete fool of yourself.


  11. 32 Black_Wizard
    February 4, 2010 at 11:51

    yea dude, accept you’ve been thrashed and move on. you’ve made an ass of yourself.


  12. 33 Bhakti
    February 4, 2010 at 12:00

    You were just very annoyed with my post to which you lashed out? Now that’s really funny because you were trying very hard to defend yourself. You failed miserably, btw. Calling people who thrash you left, right and center ‘kid’ isn’t the wisest thing to do. Neither is telling people what they should be doing with their time, especially when you need to go back to school. Kindergarten, actually 😛 Bye, toddler.


  13. February 4, 2010 at 12:30

    Guys…Just wanna say, meet me in person. And we’ll see who thrashes whom.

    Oh and Bhakti or Lady Gaga whoever you are don’t get your friendly dicks around for some internet support.

    Anirban – bokachoda tor maaar gud mar.

    There is no ‘Bhakti’ without ‘Shakti’ lol.

    Black Wizard….I don’t have anything to say to you at all, lest you are Ihsahn from Emperor.

    I’m actually enjoying this. Who’s next…Please come forth let me get you some Black metal over here!


  14. February 4, 2010 at 12:44

    Why so serious…Everyone having a good time?

    You started it lady, now let me end it for you.

    Shut your mouth or Staple your pussy up.


  15. 37 Jatin_DG
    February 4, 2010 at 14:52

    they don’t need to say anything now…you’re proving them right 😀


  16. February 4, 2010 at 16:55

    That’s enough flirting for a week. End!


  17. February 5, 2010 at 06:49

    yup so much fun during the weekdays! one more…


  18. 40 Nandan
    February 5, 2010 at 09:09

    mehta kya kehta mein rahoonga mein/ghar nahi nahi nahi jaaoonga mein


    • 41 Sam
      February 6, 2010 at 03:28

      why, dont you have a net at home.

      Internet is a wonderful organ, i must say. It is truly a miracle of the times by which one can browse through the world & universe. By click of a button one is taken on a transforming journey through abundance of information and endless supply of information. My happiness knows no joy abound when i surf the web (browse etc). A praise be to the guy who found a net.


  19. 42 VS
    February 8, 2010 at 11:39

    IMHO, Rehman’s rendition of Vande Matram was kickass!


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