Film: Phoonk 2
Writer/Director: Milind Gadagkar
Producer: Ram Gopal Varma
Actors: Sudeep, Amruta Khanvilkar, Jeeva, Ahsaas Channa, Neeru Bajwa
Guess what, losers? This might be the only positive review of Phoonk 2 you read but I’m going right ahead with it. Brothers and their sisters, please welcome Milind Gadagkar, debuting as director with Ram Gopal Varma’s Phoonk 2. Unlike Phoonk, the sequel will not be called a ‘sleeper hit’ because it will wake the fuck out of you.
Milind Gadagkar moves a family into a bungalow in Alibaug, with a beach for a view and a forest as its neighbour. Wasting some time trying to establish the characters and getting the family adjusted to their new home, Phoonk 2 has a few silly camera angles that might please only the producer.
To engage people with a poor attention span like mine, there are two beautiful women – Amruta Khanvilkar and Neeru Bajwa. Amruta plays Sudeep’s wife Arati and Neeru plays his sister Arushi, and some more reel is wasted showing everybody having a gala time on the beach.
Anyway, when the main girl Raksha (Ahsaas Channa… she’s too young, let’s not talk about her) finds a doll ugly as Rakhi Sawant, things start happening. The first half of Phoonk 2 is wasted trying to build up scary situations, but nothing happens and there is only one good scene.
Rajiv (Sudeep) finds out his wife is now the ghost; Madhu has taken control of Arati’s fine body, and everyone in the theatre was unhappy to realize that the married bitch is a possessed slut. People stopped munching popcorn for awhile.
At some point, everybody in the house realizes that something is very wrong, and that’s when the shit starts flying. Post-interval, we see the previous tantrik Manja (Zakir Hussain, Rashid in Sarkar) get lifted by an invisible force and go headless with his body in flames. Next on the list is the gardener/sweeper Balu who gets attacked by Madhu (she’s back, baby) and his body is found on the train tracks. Sudeep’s pal Vinay too dies a lovely death – he drives his car through Madhu and the next moment she’s sitting next to him and bam, he rams into an oncoming truck.
Now it’s time for a new exorcist to come in, and it’s none other than motherfucking Jeeva. I’m sorry to say but Jeeva’s character could’ve been welcomed with a lot more pomp because this is one dude who can carry it off. His eyes have always been yellowish-red (in Satya as Jagga, in Ab Tak Chhappan as Police Commissioner Suchak, in Sarkar as Swami) and he’s either got jaundice or he’s perpetually stoned. Who cares, check out his dialogue delivery!
Things turn comical because the ghost knows what everyone is up to. While youth icon Jeeva is starting a bonfire in the forest, the doll approaches him giggling like SRK. Ho, what’s this? The doll grabs Jeeva by his legs and goes round and round. Close your eyes and imagine Jeeva being swung round and round by a fucking doll. That’s right, the ugly doll sends Jeeva flying and he gets stuck on a tree, a thick branch going through Jeeva’s pure heart. But even while dying, he catches the doll like a lech and thrusts her into the bonfire. Some pyromaniac he turned out to be.
Anyway, all’s well that ends well. The maid is found nailed to the wall upside down, and Neeru Bajwa’s corpse is found floating in the pool. I’m not quite sure how Madhu’s ghost leaves Arati’s supple body, but that is something others who see the flick have to explain to me. If you think this review is entertaining, go watch the damn movie. And don’t go by this review; some eight-ten boys sitting in the row before ours were making a lot of noise during the first half, passing silly comments and all that. Well, they shut the fuck up during the second half, and that should tell you something about how scary Phoonk 2 turns out to be.
Showing the (famous by now) crow only once, pleasing RGV with strange camera antics and women with less clothing, and showing a ghost pissed off as fuck, Milind Gadagkar has taken it to the next level. Ram Gopal Varma, I want Phoonk 3!