Movie Review: 7 Khoon Maaf

Vishal Bhardwaj proves he is as capable of boring you as much as any other filmmaker, even if he does it in more interesting ways. “7 Khoon Maaf” is a twisted movie that moves at a slow pace – something you should be familiar with if you’ve seen his other films crawl through a few hours of your life.

Priyanka Chopra is a psychopath who, the narrator (Vivaan Shah) claims, is seeking true love and happiness. But somehow every man she gets married to turns out to be some kind of a sicko.

Her first husband (Neil Nitin Mukesh, laughable) is a one-legged army fellow who thinks Priyanka will become a responsible wife once they have a child. She throws Neil Nitin Mukesh to a computer-generated panther. At his death ceremony, Priyanka meets her second husband (John Abraham, hilarious) – a wannabe rock star who passes off others’ tunes as his own, wears a blonde wig onstage, dresses and walks exactly like W. Axl Rose. I’d have assassinated the bastard just for that. But Priyanka has other reasons – John Abraham is a drug addict who has just graduated from cocaine to heroin, and is caught red-handed playing chor-police with two groupies. “FBI Agent,” he announces to a groupie with a toy gun from behind a curtain.

Hubby no. 3 is Irfan Khan, shayar by day and sadomasochist at night. After deciding to kill him, Priyanka teases him with a glass of whisky, and the second time she slaps him is when I fell in love with her all over again. He gets buried alive by Priyanka’s cronies (Usha Uthup and another fellow).

So that’s what 7 Khoon Maaf is all about – a hubby getting thrown to snakes, another hubby made to overdose on Viagra, here a hubby, there a hubby, everywhere a hubby-hubby. Old Mac Piggy Chops has a farm, and do I want to lick it.

7 Khoon Maaf suffers from the same problems that plague Vishal Bhardwaj’s other films. He keeps the pace sluggish to make the film seem heavier and takes his time to establish all his ideas, and it makes me want to get the fuck up and walk out. When there are seven people to marry and kill, it could be shown in a way that would make viewers want to watch it again, but who’s going to tell Vishal Bhardwaj that?

7 Khoon Maaf is an ambitious film that buckles under the weight of its story.



Anjaana Anjaani Review

Karva Chauth For Priyanka Chopra

Sexy Priyanka Versus Ugly Kareena



35 Responses to “Movie Review: 7 Khoon Maaf”

  1. February 18, 2011 at 02:57

    abey behenchoditna hi shock hai tujhe apne website par traffic laane ka toh content publish jaldi kiya kar…harami saale log kya dhundte hain net par unki mentality ko samajh…tu aaj raat ko 7 khoon maaf dekhega aur phir uska review daalega toh google k pehle page par kya tu aa paayega? Sun saale pehle se hi hazaaron websites hain jo movie k review likhti hain aur log ussi ko padhte hain koi saala mahine bhar k baad teri website par nahin aayega review padhne samjha…BETICHOD dusron ki website par aake hungaame mat machaya kar smajha…..gaandu ye bhi koi site ka naam hota hai “MEHTA KYA KEHTA”? main tujhe ek naam suggest karta hun “WWW.MEHTAAPNALUNDCHUSTA.COM”


  2. 9 Demonos Roy
    February 18, 2011 at 06:19

    hahahahaha!!!! yeh toh heaving earth ho gaya!


    • February 18, 2011 at 10:31

      Hehehe… I awoke to this gaali-galoch and my day is going super! Now every morning I’ll look in the mirror and say, “Dude, Mehta… fuck you!”, and maybe even show myself the finger.


  3. 11 sanket
    February 18, 2011 at 09:51

    hahahahahahha…this is so funny. Aditya saala chutiya….HAHAHAHAHAHA.



  4. February 18, 2011 at 10:58

    when will the review be up?


  5. 18 Anu
    February 18, 2011 at 11:41

    Was about time you did this.


  6. 23 blacksheep
    February 19, 2011 at 03:28

    will watch for sure.


  7. February 19, 2011 at 05:40

    priyanks was good all and all good movie…


  8. 27 Saurin Parikh
    February 19, 2011 at 08:21

    There’s no way the movie will be as much fun as this review.
    Killer, you are!


  9. 31 Demonos
    February 20, 2011 at 04:33

    The Munster of Gaali ga-Lochness!


  10. August 16, 2014 at 22:01

    You could definitely see your skills within the article you write.

    The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid
    to say how they believe. At all times follow your heart.


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