27
Mar
11

Indo-Pak Cricket Wars

On whether it’s just not cricket or it’s not just cricket

Outing oneself as a supporter of the Pakistan cricket team must be the hardest thing for an Indian in India. It has been a hell lot easier (and good fun) for me to proclaim myself a Satanist and even that draws distinctly milder reactions.

My fandom of Pakistani cricket was born out of love of watching a game being played well, and has absolutely nothing to with patriotism towards my country, which thrives on Oscar victories, Grammy nominations and silly cricket wins instead of making any actual progress as a nation.

It has also got to do with Pakistan being sketched as the enemy in our heads, and I have a natural tendency to side with the underdog. And Pakistan defines aggression as far as cricket is concerned. Maybe with all that red meat intake and the lack of regular alcohol supply intensifying their collective focus.

Which reminds me how I nearly got lynched in a bar a few years ago for cheering for Pakistan. Luckily for me, India won that match – and I got away with accused of being unpatriotic and a traitor. No physical harm done.

But there have been incidents of people throwing ashtrays at television sets and having heart attacks during India-Pakistan cricket matches. That’s certainly not the sporting spirit. That’s India whining, not shining. And that’s us taking the frustration of our past and helplessness of our present and the worries of our future out on a fucking cricket team because they are a threat to our national ego which has been erected on associated triumphs. Is it not true that defeating Pakistan in the semifinals is more important to India than winning the World Cup? Anyway, here’s good news: Yousuf Raza Gilani has accepted Manmohan Singh’s invite. The Prime Minister of Pakistan will be watching the match with the Prime Minister of India!

I do enjoy a good game of cricket, especially with alcohol in my system and people around making a lot of noise. The India-Australia showdown had drunk corporate honchos banging tables with their fists and not allowing one of their colleagues to wear his spectacles because the whole bar thought India had started thrashing Australia because this gentleman took his glasses off!

Jokes about how Pakistan will meet Shiv Sena in the finals at Wankhede Stadium if it beats India, and Australia meeting West Indies… at the airport. Apparently, the combination of alcohol and cricket is great for our sense of humour and it also sharpens our rhyming skills. “Yuvraj (Singh) mein aaya bhoot, (Ricky) Ponting, teri maa ki choot!”

Everybody present at that bar made a solemn promise to be there for the Indo-Pak match, and I’ll keep my word and even perform aarti on that man’s specs with my drink, all the while silently cheering for Pakistan, wishing for them to send the Indian team packing. My dark green t-shirt is ironed and ready.


7 Responses to “Indo-Pak Cricket Wars”


  1. 1 Patriot Scud
    March 27, 2011 at 09:24

    Yun Pakistan se dushmani acchi nahin India,Munni teri badnam hai,Sheila teri jawan hai, Aur humara Captaan Pathan hai

    Like

  2. 2 Guru
    March 27, 2011 at 09:48

    Pathan wohi hote hain na jinhe chhote-chhote ladkon ki gaand maarna pasand hai?

    Like

  3. 3 navin
    March 27, 2011 at 13:47

    i guess u were very serious(w.r.t your vote on fb)? lol…
    man this world cup has been tough for me, as i am west indian..but since they were booted out, my mother land is india, so i will be rooting for them in this semi, but wow, cricket is such a huge event in india, the crowds go ballistic, i love watching matches played in india…is it true that tendulkar is like much more popular than SRK and other indian film stars?

    Like

  4. 5 Akshay Verma
    April 1, 2011 at 07:16

    dude be a satanist and keep on supporting Pakistan infact all other teams against India, it works for India being a religious country 😉 😀

    Like

  5. 6 Akshay Verma
    April 1, 2011 at 07:26

    and please support Sri Lanka at the bar that too silently coz if they won somehow i m sure u will get killed, Satan wont come for rescue ROFL, kidding … nice work i read your blog for the first time… keep up the good work 🙂

    Like


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