05
Jul
11

Movie Review: Delhi Belly

Delhi Belly ki maa ka bhosda, says Biprorshee Das

Yes, Delhi Belly ki Maa ka Bhosda! Oh, offended, are you? Didn’t I tickle your funny bone? No? You will not laugh hysterically? Even if I use crude Hindi to suggest that my posterior is being split into two or tell you in all graphic glory how my faeces look like? You would at least chuckle if I let one rip, won’t you please?

No? Wait! You are throwing the world’s ‘ewwwwws’ and disgusted looks at me?

I’m aghast. On Saturday though you wouldn’t stop laughing at these very things when Abhinav Deo and Aamir Khan told you that it is funny or at least implied it is.

Seriously, what did I miss?

At the very onset, let me say this is not a film review. I am not qualified to do that. And I am very sure, by now you have your own 4.96418733333/5 stars for Delhi Belly.

This is about a question I need to ask. And you are free to question my intellect, sanity, of course perspective and you are free to be judgmental.

Question? Yes! When did cuss words and reference to human waste become funny? No, do not give me that ‘situational’ bullshit — “Oh! But in that situation, it was funny.” No, it wasn’t.

There are millions of videos on YouTube that show off a “swearing baby”, “baby saying fuck”, “cute baby farting” and gazillion comments that scream, “Awwwwwwwwww….”

How old were Imran Khan, Vir Das (why does that dude even bother?) and Kuna(a)l Roy Kapur in the movie again?

Seriously, are you going to give me the “Oh-the-movie-kept-it-real” crap now? Am I the only person who thinks it is NOT real and is a bit abnormal for swear words being thrown around like that? No, you do not know what a truck driver’s vocabulary I have, so don’t get there. I have learnt my Hindi in one of the most crude belts of the country and words/phrases such as “bhenchod” and “teri maa ki chut” were as elementary as the school I went to those days.

You think it is normal and “real” for every second word in a sentence to be “chutiya” or “bhenchod”? You do that? I don’t think so.

Well ok, let’s say you do consider it normal. If it’s normal why are you laughing then? Are you laughing with that whole “Hawwww…dekho gaali diya” thingie on your mind? Then you sure sported a fake ID proof when you went to the movies to enjoy Delhi Belly.

And of course, “crappy” jokes never cease to be funny, does it?

Is it just me who smells a rat behind the swear and shit? Is it just me who thinks that the film makers knew that the plot was weak and the movie had to be sold hyping the profanity and a sex scene that was really much ado about nothing. (Seriously, if that is the hoopla you are going to create about your female lead’s pussy being licked, I want to see and hear more than just her moan and groan!)

Does nobody see that there was nothing new about the plot? Does nobody think Guy Ritchie and Snatch? Does nobody find it weird that we are not really laughing at jokes and gags anymore but stuff we wouldn’t give two fucks about otherwise in real life?

I have groaned enough thinking when would Bollywood stop paying its unwarranted and terrible tributes to Coppola and The Godfather. I think a new God has been found in Guy Ritchie. At least be worth his style when you copy.

I believe Aamir Khan when he said he never saw Memento. Christopher Nolan would too if he saw the disaster that was called Ghajini. So I’ll also believe if anybody makes the Ritchie reference and Khan and his team decide to deny the existence of the filmmaker.

Take a flying fuck, Aamir Khan and Abhinav Deo and next time you or anybody want to feed me with shit….chal bhagg, bhosdi ke!

Almost forgot…gave you cuss words, potty reference, here’s titillating eye candy. At least, now laugh!


40 Responses to “Movie Review: Delhi Belly”


  1. July 5, 2011 at 07:35

    Now this is called a fucking review.

    Like

  2. July 5, 2011 at 07:47

    Aamir Khan ki Tatti hai bhai. Hum Tatti karen toh gandagi, Aamir kare toh Shit Happens!! I knew there was something wrong with those 4.9837652 star ratings. Sab bhe#@*# bike hue hain. Looks like the Delhi Belly effect is rubbing on me. Anyways Thanks for an honest commentary (Won’t call it review, as u urself said u r not qualified for it) on this shit movie Delhi Belly.

    Like

  3. 4 G
    July 5, 2011 at 07:53

    Quit smoking Bipro ! You are losing it, You don’t have to oppose for the sake of opposing it like one Mr Madnani. Guy ritchie or not, Delhy Belly was fucktastic …

    Like

    • July 5, 2011 at 08:01

      You liked it? Cool! That’s where the matter ends no? I voiced my opinion. You write about yours. Whether my smoking or my friends need to be dragged into this? I don’t think so. Cheers.

      Like

      • 6 Pradeep
        July 5, 2011 at 08:09

        Nice response, bro. It’s really weird when people take an opposing opinion as a personal attack.

        Now, I haven’t seen Delhi Belly yet, will see it this week. I was hoping it would be good because I really liked Road, Movie. Dev Benegal did a fantastic job on that.

        Like

        • July 5, 2011 at 08:17

          Pradeep, has Dev Benegal anything to do with this movie? I doubt. Abhinav Deo directed it and some Akshat dude wrote it. And by all means, go and watch it. Half and more of the world loved the movie. You might too.
          I want to clarify here, this is not a campaign against Delhi Belly. It wasn’t even a review for that matter. Just a social comment.
          I cannot understand for the love of God, how does a movie review shape an opinion until you have seen the flick yourself? Watch a movie to be entertained not to verify the thoughts of a writer.

          Like

          • 8 Pradeep
            July 5, 2011 at 14:41

            “I cannot understand for the love of God, how does a movie review shape an opinion until you have seen the flick yourself?”

            Haha, whatever made you think you changed my mind about the movie? I merely stated that I haven’t seen the movie, that I will see it, and that I am optimistic because I assumed Dev Benegal directed the movie.

            Like

  4. 9 Sai
    July 5, 2011 at 07:57

    Insane!

    Like

  5. July 5, 2011 at 07:58

    hahahahaha, i expected this, so never bothered watching it

    Like

  6. 11 Aneesh
    July 5, 2011 at 08:40

    Life mein ek baar, Mehta, I have to see you saying, “Hawwww………dekho gaali diya.”
    With all four ‘W’s.

    Like

    • July 5, 2011 at 08:48

      That would be to something Nikhil Warekar says, because his reply to everything I say is, “Maa chudane gaya.”
      One day I was telling him something important about Exhumation and he said, “Bhosde mein jaye.”

      Like

      • 13 Nikhil
        July 5, 2011 at 09:07

        Hahahahahahaha

        Like

        • 14 Nikhil
          July 5, 2011 at 09:17

          Hey Mehta the reason to that maybe your muffled voice. I don’t understand shit most of the times when we talk on the phone haha. So I just reply ‘haan’ , ‘okay’ , ‘sahi hai’ , ‘hmm’ , ‘maa chudhane gaya’ , ‘Bhosde Mein Jaye’ etc 😀

          Like

  7. 15 Nikhil
    July 5, 2011 at 09:09

    Btw Bravo Biprorshee ! 😀

    Like

  8. July 5, 2011 at 09:45

    I completely agree that the movie had very lose plot and a lameduck story.
    You’re also right that they had to sell it on something & that’s why the emphasis on profanity. The movie was just about okay, not a ‘cult’ that it’s already being called.
    Yup, shit happens, and the shit that happened here was the entire movie.

    Like

  9. 17 Pooja
    July 5, 2011 at 12:10

    I paid like 70 Rs to watch that film and believe me I didn’t regret one bit ,though I would’t watch it again. The movie was A OK.

    Like

  10. 18 Riju
    July 5, 2011 at 12:45

    Hhahahhahahaha WTF Mehta’s voice is muffled over the phone? So all Warekar says is Bhosade mein jaaye.

    Dude I’m laughing my fucking ass off.

    Like

  11. 19 Madhav Ravindranath
    July 5, 2011 at 19:16

    SIR LOOONDRY!! Fuck! The movie was pretty good. Screw you. 🙂

    Like

  12. 20 Bubonic Blood
    July 5, 2011 at 21:52

    Entertaining commentary but you clearly need to lookup the origin of the word slapstick to see what used to (?) pass as comedy. Some poor motherfucker got beat with a stick and people laughed. But to a more fundamental issue, what is the definition of comedy anyway? Different people like different things – Mainstream appeal and elitism go hand-in-hand. Find yourself some industrial strength drugs and relax 😉

    Like

  13. July 6, 2011 at 01:39

    from the look of the movie poster, are they trying to follow maybe the american movie ‘Hangover 2’, seems so lol

    Like

  14. July 6, 2011 at 05:30

    I saw the movie yesterday, and I totally agree with you. The first thing that came to mind was what a colleague said to me when I spoke of good books, and he said that a good book for him is what the masses read. Which is .. well., a very uninformed opinion. But screw that. Delhi Belly was just crass toilet jokes with an almost non existent plot. The film was technically good. but of course required the over the top language and content to make up for its lack of sense!What I thought was exceptionally bad was that all of the characters remained completely 1 dimensional and inconsistent throughout the movie.

    Like

  15. 23 arun
    July 6, 2011 at 07:46

    baba marke likha … hai na ….gud one .

    Like

  16. July 6, 2011 at 08:16

    All you take of the movie back with you are the poop scenes, the sex scene, the unnecessary profanity and just a montage of chaos. Does anyone hardly remember any story? Don’t think so. The music? Don’t think so. The characters? Don’t think so. Any dialogues apart from ‘Sir Loondry’? Don’t think so. If that works for you, I’d say ‘Good job!’ to the makers. For me, I think somewhere all the critics forgot the minus sign before the 4 star rating!

    🙂

    Like

  17. 25 Tariq
    July 6, 2011 at 13:45

    A guy on facebook who doesnt know comments can be posted here said

    What he (Biprorshee) das said is the actual fact. For guys who watch lots of hollywood & foreign films, Delhi Belly is nothing new but a rip off of several hollywood blockbusters. Seriously, are we not actually paying to listen to some never-before-said-on-screen curses & watch never-before-done-on-screen sexual humors? fuck the story, enjoy the profanity glory (that is the actual selling point of DB).

    Like

  18. July 7, 2011 at 17:30

    I can’t believe that crowd at the Multiplex were actually whistling at the utterance of cuss words with no timing whatsoever! What a tragedy! This movie is all about hype, but as they have themselves said during its promotion that ‘Shit Happen’ naturally and apparently it was some couple of hours shitty experience.

    One day Aamir woke up and decided to make a shitty movie on well nothing but his own shit. Then he narrated it to the Director, Abhinay Deo. And that’s how the Real Shit Happened!

    I can’t believe I wasted nearly 600 bucks for this shit!

    Okay enough of shit. I don’t buy the fact that Aamir didn’t watch ‘Memento’. His so called Split Personality movie. Ghajini is a travesty if he claims that he hasn’t seen the cult classic yet! Way to go Mr. Perfectionist by imitating a classic and denying it without a poker face! hahaha

    Like

  19. 27 KP
    July 8, 2011 at 16:17

    lol..this is prob the best review i have read..

    Like

  20. 28 Vaibhav
    July 9, 2011 at 03:09

    Well, nice rant and all but maybe the movie DELHI Belly was never meant to be understood by people from other parts of India lol cuz here I do know some guys whose every second word in a sentence is “bhenchod”, thats of course when they are pissed off at something or someone. I know friends who throw “gaalis” at one another all the time when they are happy about something or just want to tease each other. Thats how “REAL” Delhi is, thats the real status of rented houses and water supply in Delhi and it sure pisses more people off than those living in cities like Mumbai and Bengaluru. Not saying Mumbai and Bengaluru don’t have similar problems, but Delhi just has more. A girl gifting a new shirt to her BF to make him presentable in front of her parents is what happens in real life too. The guy disrupting his cheating GF’s wedding is a reality too and I am sure the song “Jaa Chudail” will bring many victims of cheating/ex GFs out of depression LOL, hatred always triumphs over forgiveness when you are the emotional kind and feel completely devastated in love. Yeah I know most guys won’t agree cuz its mostly the other way round, them cheating the girls lol!!

    The movie is as real as it gets. The overhead-commode-tank coming down when he pulls the chain, the guy hung with his tie to the fan bringing down the ceiling along with the dancers at the right time, the guy in the car leaving his friends behind to save his own ass, the goon holding the guy on the back seat of the scooter by his tie, the gang boss finding his men gobbling up the dinner when he asks them to search the hotel room, sticking a live firecracker in the ass to get the truth out, etc are just some amusing bits that make it a funny movie worth watching at least once. I am no fan of the movie myself and I did not like the “poop show” on the screen at all, but barring that I enjoyed the movie. And even if it is one of those “inspired from hollywood” movies again, it still had to be “Indianized” to be enjoyed by the masses who do not know the H of Hollywood!

    Anyways, I agree it might not appear funny to most because its just about the real life we see around us everyday BUT then how many movies show the real life as it is? SRK movies lol? Real life and local dialect coming from a hindi movie is what makes it funny but guess the ones sitting in AC rooms in some posh locality will find it absurd and not even worth talking about! But guess what, the movie was never meant to make you guys laugh, it was intended to bring you face to face with the real world out there!

    Btw who the FUCK cares what Biprorshee Das thinks lol, maybe he would have felt otherwise if he was cast instead of Vir Das lol, or wait, does he know someone named D.K. Bose lmao!!

    And Mr. Mehta, please cut the crap about being a “LaVeyan Satanist”. It makes you look like a faker when you talk about God in your post. And btw, why does the title of your post says “Movie Review” when you yourself acknowledge that this is not a review and you are not qualified to do one? It does show up on Google and appears to be a very biased review. It seems like you closed your senses to everything except the profanity and the sex scene. And no this movie was not intended to make the audience laugh on the cleavage lol, the movie is much more than that. Anyways, I hope you have the courage to post my comment as is. I am not a hater but I’d like to let the people know about the other side of the coin too 🙂

    Like

    • July 11, 2011 at 09:22

      “Btw who the FUCK cares what Biprorshee Das thinks lol, maybe he would have felt otherwise if he was cast instead of Vir Das lol, or wait, does he know someone named D.K. Bose lmao!!”

      OMG, he thinks he was being funny with the above. Yes child, this movie was made for you. Enjoy your funnies.

      Like

  21. 32 Vaibhav
    July 9, 2011 at 03:27

    Oh SHIT, didn’t realize you just copied and pasted from somewhere else LOL. You can carry on being the LaVeyan Satanist that you are cuz you never spoke of God did you? It was the serial burper from the other blog who did yea? 😉

    Like

  22. 37 Barry
    July 19, 2011 at 00:06

    I watched the movie and laughed also..It behooves me to ask Since when the plot was considered so unimportant?

    and also, I don’t think the Profanity was needed so profusely..(almost as if the movie is idealizing profanity in an inspiring way)
    I know It was meant to be realistic and all…
    but all realities are not funny & definitely not praiseworthy..I don’t regard using mindless expletives on screen as Progress, it’s nothing but abject glorification of Social and Moral decadence…

    as it seems..Whatever vestiges of Our moral and traditional values are left these Guys won’t stop until expunging them…whatever happened to the good old days when all of the family members could watch a movie without wriggling? u call it Toilet Humor really?? I think this flick is a poor travesty of any Humor…

    EVEN WESTERN PEOPLE TRY TO Avoid unnecessary Expletives AS Much as they can..It’s not cool, even in real Life to see Mature people cussing each other like that..
    In my opinion..It’s utterly boorish!!

    Like

  23. 38 Anonymous
    August 9, 2011 at 04:45

    Hey Mehta, u’ve incited a great discussion. You know it’s kinda weird that these very ppl who use freedom of expression as a defense for putting DB on a pedestal pounce at every single person who thinks otherwise. Like someone has pushed a hot rod up their a****. They are nothing but Aamir Khan ki g***d se nikle hue sulemaani keede. Hope they take this as a compliment 😉

    The movie was silly!

    Like

  24. 39 Anon
    May 4, 2014 at 07:58

    Totally agree that fare like this does nothing more than insult the intelligence of the audience. When i first saw this film, i was shocked at the utterly nonsensical production it was. The jokes (?) were all forced. And now it seemed that all the media hype was also carefully planted. I mean where in that entire film could you see ‘Kiran Rao falling from the couch and roling on the floor while reading the script). Where exactly? There was nothing, absolutely nothing there that a grown up would find funny. At least nothing to ROFL about anyway. Seriously.

    The only way I could justify Aamir producing it was that he was so confident of his marketing skills that he took up a personal challenge to see if he could make a piece of ‘well packaged shit’ a boxoffice hit through his marketing prowess alone through manipulating and influencing public opinion through his massive PR machinery. Eg, to This day you will find many You tube videos and interviews from the film with over lakhs of hits but not a single comment. Many film fans have angrily reported that their critcal comments were removed from reviews, websitse, facebook etc. Its a shame on us that he was successful and got away with influencing people in this way…

    To add insult to injury, it seems he is collaborating with abhinay deo and the scriptwriter (god save us from such juveniles who walk the earth in the name of writers!) to come up with a sequel. Really, we don’t need any more of this. Lets vote with our wallets this time.

    Like


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