Archive for July, 2011



04
Jul
11

Justice Has Been Served In The Neeraj Grover Murder Case

GOOD RIDDANCE: Bye bye, beta!

How many men would walk away silently after barging into their girlfriend’s home and finding a naked man there? None – only pussies would. Emile Jerome Matthew discovered Neeraj Grover in the nude at Maria Susairaj’s house, and the men got into an altercation which had to lead to something big. It ended with Grover getting chopped in small pieces. Emile got sentenced to 10 years in jail for killing someone in blind rage, so what’s the problem?

All you idiots who think justice has been denied, ask yourselves what kind of justice would it have been if EJM had merely jumped up and down in anger and Neeraj Grover would have gone home sniggering. The dead dumb-ass you guys are going on protest walks for was getting sex because he had convinced the whore-bag he could get her plum roles on television. If she was a manipulative bitch, that was entirely Grover’s bad luck. Emile Jerome Matthew was fucking her the way any real man would – on merit.

Sad as it is for Neeraj Grover’s parents, it is also their misfortune that their son was a beta male who got what he deserved for fucking a superior man’s girlfriend. Now don’t give me shit like ‘an alpha male would have walked away’ – think about all the things you’ve said and done in anger, and then understand that EJM found Neeraj Grover in the buff at his girlfriend’s house. Think about how you would have channeled your rage, and then shut the fuck up.

The alpha caught the beta with his woman and punished him for it. End of story.

To all you Anna Hazare wannabes: go for a long walk, and when you get tired walking for a dead beta male, shove the candle up your ass.

03
Jul
11

Raving And Ranting About Drug Users

To a sobered Bombay, a hung-over Gujarat and a world on drugs

Drugs remain a taboo because we choose to keep it that way. What goes on at jungle raves and beach raves goes on at clubs and house parties too, the difference being that a jungle or beach party would have much higher levels of energy. And raves are the ones that get busted by cops more than any other type of event. But what authorities don’t know is that police raids on such parties can cause more harm than do good. Partygoers running helter-skelter – sober and clean people running because they have a train to catch the next afternoon, others running because they are on drugs. People chucking all their stash and fleeing by leaping over high walls, escaping by hiding in garbage bins for hours, or breaking a leg by jumping from a dangerous height in fear of being caught by cops who claim they want don’t want to harass the drug users and only want information on where the drugs are coming from.

The whole damn world knows where the maal is sold: right under the police’s nose. But legalization is too much to ask for, even if it means that charas and ganja will be bought and sold legally and people will get to smoke unadulterated stuff, and that corruption will decrease because the police will not be able to take hafta from peddlers and bribes from scared youngsters and the Government will make a killing with the revenue generated from sales of recreational drugs.

Look at Gujarat. Supposedly a dry state, but a bazaar for bootleggers, with alcohol in every form being sold at costly rates… and who’s buying? Almost everybody is. Some might say lifting the ban on alcohol in Gujarat may encourage youngsters to drink, but imagine what happens when a young driver gets drunk on his dad’s bottle o’ bootlegged and is stopped by cops. That’s right – not only is driving drunk a crime, but in the land of Gandhi, even drinking is a crime. So, the fellow steps on the gas in panic, the alcohol and adrenalin playing havoc with his mind, and rams the car into something or someone he shouldn’t. That day will come sooner or later, Gujarat. In Bombay, we’ll jail the drunk driver. In Ahmedabad, you’ll have only yourselves to blame.

We’re the ones who criminalize the use of drugs. For some reason, we’re afraid to let others know that we have used drugs to our advantage, that they have helped us greatly and that we would have been far less aware of ourselves and things around us had we not taken those drugs. It’s not necessary to announce to the boss that he would have a great time smoking pot or to inform everyone at a family function that they’re all idiots because they haven’t dropped acid, but to not acknowledge that which has played a positive role in our lives is to disrespect it. Hey, if we can be grateful to a god who won’t rise for a turkey that didn’t come flying from heaven, and if we can praise an invisible god for everything that happens even though it was the butcher who slaughtered the goat, we can surely give credit where it’s overdue, yeah?

RELATED STUFF:
Cocaine: A Nightmare
Heroin: Chasing The Dragon
How To Quit Drinking Alcohol Instantly

02
Jul
11

Movie Review: Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap

The film is an unabashed tribute to the most alpha man in the history of cinema

A politician arrives at the scene of a bomb blast, making the mastermind watching it all on a news channel comment that it’s only such events that politicians show up for. He instructs the man who has just carried out the blast to make the second bomb go off, and turns to a member of his gang and asks the guy if he has ever watched a live telecast of a bomb blast. After the second explosion, he turns back to the man and says, “Ab koi nahi aayega.”

Silliness is the name of the game, and even though this movie guises itself as a serious film, it has jokes in every other frame. Not the Dabanng kind of inanity, not even the impossible, unbelievable stuff that makes idiots build temples in Rajnikant’s name. Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap will have the masses and the classes chuckling because of the the references (there can never be enough) to Amitabh Bachchan’s movies and the general goofiness of all the characters in every situation of this film.

Amitabh Bachchan (the greatest actor in the world) plays a retired gangster who has left his pub in Paris to kick some ass in Mumbai. He charms young girls and older women with ease, rides a macho bike, wears shades while aiming at the unfortunate with a sniper.

Do you really want to know the story? Do you really care? This is the most loved Indian of all time – respected, adored, worshipped for every single thing he did and does. There is nobody in the universe who can walk, talk, stand, punch with a left hand, fire a gun, kick an erring motherfucker, make women fall in love and swoon, make men’s jaws drop in awe, grab someone by the collar, get angry, be apologetic, cry, laugh, smile, run, shout, dance, grit his teeth, smoke, get drunk, be funny, love, hate, live and die the way this man can. Nobody can even come close. How all the charisma in the world is crammed in one man is a great mystery to me.

The other actors are very good; they do what they’re supposed to do. Everybody is fucking funny and will crack you up at one point or another. Raveena Tandon looks like a zillion bucks and Sonal Chauhan has overthrown Priyanka Chopra and has taken her place in my life. Yeah, I am no longer in love with Priyanka Chopra. So long, Piggy Chops.

Back to the main stuff – Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap is silly, but in a sweet, cute way. It is Puri Jagannadh’s unabashed tribute to the most alpha man in the history of cinema. The man who every man, woman and child can relate to. This is the man enjoying himself in a movie about everything he stands (tall) for because he still has the chops (of course) and because nobody else will ever be able to play him. How he transcended genres and went on to rule Hindi cinema is what will make other actors realize how important a role destiny plays – how one man can have everything while others…

Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap is not meant to be taken very seriously. It’s for those who have grown up watching Amitabh Bachchan’s movies to sit back and laugh at the baap having some fun.

RATING: 2.5/5

Rishte mein toh hum tumhare baap lagte hain…

01
Jul
11

10 Beers India Should Be Guzzling In 2011

Coming at you bang in the middle of the year so you can spend the rest of 2011 drinking these brews!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


I COMMAND YOU TO READ ABOUT THE ONES WHICH LOOK INTERESTING!

Doolally’s German Wheat Beer
Schneider Weisse (Tap 7)
Tooheys Old Black Ale
Fuller’s London Pride
Murphy’s Irish Stout
Brooklyn Lager
Saison Dupont
Chimay Tripel
Hoegaarden
Chimay Red




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