Beer Snobbery 4

Getting drunk all by yourself in bars will at some point lead to a stranger telling you that duplicate beer is sold all the time in this country. The much cheaper maal comes from other territories and is stocked by bars, pubs and restaurants because it means a bigger profit margin to them. Most of us may not realize it, but if your third or fourth bottle of lager tastes a bit different, chances are it’s the fake stuff. The ones who can understand this taste difference will have their query laughed off because they’ve had a few, and this is what happens all over India. I’ve had Kingfisher that tasted weird in a hotel in Jaipur, Rajasthan three years ago – I mean, it tasted weirder than Kingfisher does. This has been happening with ‘imported liquor’ for years; the branded scotch you pay big bucks for isn’t the real thing, and even the guy who owns or runs the liquor store may be unaware of it. To be on the safe side, what you can do is drink beer than cannot be duplicated. Just a few sips of Fuller’s London Pride Ale and Brooklyn Lager will tell you that some things cannot be duplicated. Cloned, yes… duplicated, no. Because if someone who wants to get rich quick could brew something of quality that high, they’d have their own brand out there. Even that fat booze baron Vijay Mallya can’t do it, and is taking over Heineken (the Kingfisher of its nation) because he is a boob.

Here’s how to not be a boob: Don’t go to the ‘official’ Mumbai Oktoberfest organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Whatever. I was there last year and it was an overblown event held to squeeze money out of people who thought they were being a part of something great by being there. On the last day of the event, people had to drink Kingfisher with the money they’d spent and learned nothing about German culture.

The Indo-German Chamber of Shit has started sending out emails to get people to make reservations for Oktoberfest 2011. They’ve stated in the email that it’s going to be 30,000 rupees (+ service tax) for a table of ten, but haven’t mentioned which German beers they’ll be pilaoing people this year. My guess is it’ll be the same beers they were trying to promote last year in the name of German culture. So, don’t be a trendy kid and fall victim to the hype, and don’t forget the official Oktoberfest is organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Commerce, which means they care about money more than anything else, and that they don’t really give a shit about beer or culture or you.

Oktoberfest 2011 you can celebrate by drinking the German Wheat Beer from Doolally – you can do this by going to the microbrewery in Pune or by visiting a pub that stocks their beers. Or you can go to Gurgaon because it has six microbreweries. Or you can buy beers of your choice from any Living Liquidz outlet in Mumbai and stay home. Just don’t settle for Kingfisher this year. Prost, ladies and gentlemen!

The Best Beers In India
Beer Snobbery 1
Beer Snobbery 2
Beer Snobbery 3

9 Responses to “Beer Snobbery 4”

  1. August 6, 2011 at 06:18

    “Overblown event held to squeeze money out of people who thought they were being a part of something great by being there. ” Ha ha ha ha ha!

    A great post which will, hopefully, save a few people from bring fooled.


  2. 2 Anonymous
    August 6, 2011 at 09:52

    Hey Aditya, ever heard of “To err is human….” I guess you are not from this planet…!!! But yes you are correct – we did have some short-comings in our first attempt of hosting the Oktoberfest in Mumbai. But we’ve learned our lessons & shall not be repeating them this year. And the Mumbai Oktoberfest should not be seen as an event for lessons on German culture – for those please go to the Max Mueller Bhavan (Goethe Institute) or take a trip to Germany! But having said that, we genuinely try to bring to you the most authentic version of this German festival – authenticity being the key word here – and that obviously comes with a price-tag – even for a non-profit organization like the Chamber of Commerce!. But if you are not convinced about this factor, let’s discuss it over beer @ this year’s Mumbai Oktoberfest – organized by humans – none the less! Dare you to be there! Prosit, my friend!
    by Mumbai Oktoberfest


    • August 6, 2011 at 10:08

      First of all, you can’t dare me to be anywhere – that’s not the way to make me attend your event.

      Secondly, the first Oktoberfest was promoted as an event to introduce Indians to a very important part of German culture. Last year, nobody asked anyone to go to Max Mueller Bhavan (Goethe Institute) or to take a trip to Germany.

      Thirdly, if you had any idea of the meaning of the word ‘authenticity’ (the key word here, according to you), you would have taken the trouble to get some decent beer (it’s easily available in Mumbai) instead of bringing in the Kingfisher van.

      Again, daring me to be there is not the best way to invite me to Mumbai Oktoberfest 2011.



  3. August 10, 2011 at 13:59

    Great info! Will watch out for the Oktoberfest. I was considering going for it at first but I’m gonna give it a second thought after reading this 😛


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