Archive for September 28th, 2012


Movie Review: ‘Oh My God’ is a miracle for all you assholes

Director: Umesh Shukla

Cast: Paresh Rawal, Mithun Chakraborty, Govind Namdeo, Mahesh Manjrekar, Om Puri, Akshay Kumar

Bollywood has done a great service to religion with this little film called Oh My God, which is based on a play called Krishan vs Kanhaiya, which is based on a movie called The Man Who Sued God.

Paresh Rawal plays Kanji Lalji Mehta, a Gujarati businessman who happens to be an atheist. Not only is Kanjibhai an atheist, but he also has antitheistic views just like me and some other amazing people I know. That excludes all of you who are shit-scared to accept the truth because you don’t want to rub the rest of your herd the wrong way and want to continue living a lie.

Kanjibhai openly mocks the religious ways of society, making fun of each and every ritual, wasting no opportunity to taunt the sheep. His shop, which sells idols of deities to sheep like you, is destroyed in an earthquake, and the insurance company refuses to pass his claim, citing the destruction of his property as an act of god.

Seeing no way out of the mess, Kanjibhai decides to take on god, and is helped by Hanif Qureshi (Om Puri), who happens to be a believer who believes in giving nonbelievers their right to not believe in higher powers, unlike the rock/metal indie websites we have in India, who refuse to write about my kickass Black Metal band Solar Deity, even though we are kicking major ass with a third EP on the way and are contributing infinitely more to the underground music scene than these websites who can at the most publish press releases about which trendcore poseur band has entered the studio, even if they entered the studio a year ago and still haven’t put any music out. Please continue writing about who won some pointless ‘metal award’ given to them by a magazine which nobody buys and can’t tell Metallica from Megadeth and gets mostly losers – who, forget judging, aren’t qualified to even discuss music – as their jury, because people outside the country have discovered us and we’re more than cool with that.

I would.

Anyway, since Kanjibhai Mehta doesn’t have god’s address, he takes godmen to court. Mithun Chakraborty as a highly effeminate sadhu; Govind Namdeo as a hot-headed swami; a Christian priest who has little or no say most of the time; a maulvi who fails to make an impression; and a hot bitch I would mate with immediately form the team fighting against Kanji.

Kanjibhai uses logic and reasoning to turn religion and everything about it you believe on its head and proves that all you’ve done in your pathetic life in the name of religion was a bloody joke. I love this movie.

Akshay Kumar, also the producer of Oh My God, is Lord Krishna in the movie. He comes on a Harley-Davidson and does a few stunts that will remind you of Ghost Rider. He is a silent spectator for most part, helping Kanji when he has to, agreeing with him all the time when Kanji tells the court and people that one doesn’t need to do anything at all to prove their faith, and that in fact rituals have only a negative impact on society.

I would.

Oh My God is a miracle of a movie that entertains while educating, and while it at no point tells you that there is no god (that would have been the icing on the cake for me), it knocks into the viewer’s head what this blog and some highly intelligent people have been telling you all along: that everything you do in the name of god is a fucking waste because you could actually spend all that time and money doing something truly productive, or if not that, something less detrimental to society.

So all you ‘thinkers’ who as much as join your hands in obeisance: Fuck you all, I hate you all wholeheartedly, and if you all died I would be extremely happy and would throw a party. You are unfit for life because of your mental disease, your addiction to fear, your suffering from the greatest cancer of all. Go watch Oh My God, and shove your favourite one up your ass.

RATING: 4.5/5

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September 2012
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