Posts Tagged ‘2010

22
Jan
11

Peepli Live Out Of Oscars, Vidarbha Farmers Happy

HAHAHA

Peepli [Live] has run out of luck at the Oscar race and has been thrown out. The better news is that the Vidarbha farmers are overjoyed at the fact that the over-rated film won’t get any more undue recognition.

Of course, I was the only reviewer who panned the movie, recognising how it had been falsely marketed as a socially relevant film but was nothing short of a bore-fest.

People fell for the gimmick, of course – overexcited at the idea of watching a meaningful art house flick, you all missed Antardwand, which is an artsy film that happens to be of social relevance.

Even suicidal farmers in Vidarbha have a better understanding of cinema than you.

My Peepli Live Review: It’s A Fucking Bore

Film Of The Year 2010: Antardwand Review

09
Jan
11

5 Perfect Songs From 2010

Drinking a delicious stout I discovered in 2010 makes me think of all the great music I heard last year. Since everybody knows what I think of Belus, there won’t be any mention of it (or any black metal). Here are the five songs that rocked my speakers in 2010!

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Golden Mango Awards 2010

Black Stool Awards 2010

15
Dec
10

Music Review: All You Need Is Now

Duran Duran make a minor attempt at balancing where they come from with the way sound has evolved since, but everything that’s good about All You Need Is Now comes from back then. The title track is the band trying hard to not sound old and out of place, and Blame The Machines is the band warming up to suck you a couple of decades back. As the album truly kicks off with Being Followed and follows it up with delights like Leave A Light On and Safe, Duran Duran make it clear that that they don’t need to experiment. The Man Who Stole A Leopard and Runaway Runaway are guaranteed to make you nostalgic, and the album ends with a broody Before The Rain. But the song that has stolen my heart in the way only an 80s gem can is Girl Panic; close your eyes and think of the cutest girl you’ve ever known frowning because the music’s overpowering her and making her hips shake against her will – that song is Girl Panic. Flying kisses to Duran Duran.

RATING: 4/5

14
Dec
10

Music Review: Michael

Michael Jackson’s first posthumous offering is better than the last two albums he threw up. The voice, the beats, the structures and the style – Michael is packed with songs that scream ‘MJ’ and grab your attention. It’s obviously because he’s no longer alive that the whole world will be giving this a few listens. This is not just another comeback album, it’s the King of Pop making his return, and even those who wouldn’t have cared will be sitting up in rapt attention because the king is dead now.

Michael is not sock-you-in-the-face-and-leave-you-zapped pop music that would’ve taken over the world all over again, but it is signature Michael Jackson for most part the way anything Michael Jackson would be, yet falling nowhere close to Thriller, Bad and Dangerous.

As somebody who fell in love with music because of Michael Jackson, it makes me cringe to hear Akon announce “Akon and MJ, yeah!” but the discomfort doesn’t last because I’m listening to this album for the same reason you will be.

Of all the songs, there are five that would have fit right in his live set – Hollywood Tonight, Keep Your Head Up, Breaking News, (I Can’t Make It) Another Day and Much Too Soon – the rest aren’t energetic or soulful enough.

There’s more to come from Michael Jackson – Sony Music will find it easier to milk him dry now that he’s dead, but let’s not spoil the moment. The greatest entertainer this planet has seen is back from the dead with his latest album. We’re listening, Michael.

RATING: 2.5/5

ALSO READ: Michael Jackson and AR Rahman

07
Dec
10

Music Review: Ominous Doctrines Of The Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm

Holy fuck, Inquisition is back!

Raw black metal will be a great way to end my year, and it can’t get better than Incubus blasting the double bass and Dagon on guitar/bass with that croak of his.

Alternating between fast and slow rhythms, Ominous Doctrines Of The Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm (whatever the fuck that means) is yet another bunch of songs offering love and devotion to Satan, which means it’s exactly my cup of tea. As if to add to my joy, the songs on this album are totally soothing, with all the blast beats and the slower, repetitive sections that turn back into blasting from time to time.

Dagon’s vocals aren’t as monotonous if that’s what you’re dreading – he’s croaking with great enthusiasm here; maybe he thinks it’s the mating season. Incubus is sounding fucking great, baby… his skin-slamming will surely make you sit up and pay attention.

There’s even a solo here that will set Satan’s wings on fire and make him dive in the Indian Ocean. The mighty Inquisition is in terrific form here, and this chaotic black metal album is not to be missed!

RATING: 5/5


01
Dec
10

Golden Mango Awards – The Best Of 2010

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Belus

There was never any doubt that Count Grishnackh’s glorious return would steal the thunder (and the lightning) from the lesser musicians of this world, but I decided to wait till now anyway, just to give everybody a fair shot. As we sat back in our chairs with one eye closed, wondering if the new music would live up to Burzum’s legacy or even be decent black metal, Varg Vikernes forced the stars and the planets into alignment with Kaimadalthas’ Nedstigning, and illuminated the universe with Keliohesten, making countless galaxies sway to the ambience he conjured with the intoxicating Belus’ Tilbakekomst, far surpassing everything he’d created before. Whether he makes another album or not doesn’t matter; “Belus” is proof that the man who made it is the greatest black metal musician of all time.

ANTHEM OF THE YEAR

Sau Rupiya

So we always knew that Ashwin-drummer-would-have-his-revenge-on-the-Bombay-rock-scene, but who’d have thought he’d do it this way? A song that begins with the chorus, has cheeky squeals and a glass breaking before The Riot Peddlers launch into a slamming attack on an already petrified world, “Sau Rupiya” is easily the catchiest, the most fun, and the most lovable  song I’ve heard all year. And with the incorrigible Rishu Singh taking charge as manager, and frontman Arun S Ravi threatening to unleash an entire collection of such songs – yes, I was just getting to that – hide your moms. The band to watch out for in 2011.

FILM OF THE YEAR

Antardwand

Yes, there actually was one film worth watching in 2010. While the corporate superstars of the Hindi film industry were conning some of us into watching “socially relevant” films, there was a movie that came along without making announcements and hit me between the eyes. The story of a man being abducted and being forced to become a bridegroom in rural India –  it’s not a slapstick comedy, stop laughing – with no song-and-dance, no big names, yet complete with good screenplay and terrific performances from everyone, “Antardwand” is one of the two or three movies that were worth checking out this year.

BEER OF THE YEAR

Fuller’s London Pride and Murphy’s Irish Stout

Of all the brew available at Living Liquidz, I’m picking two drinks as the best beers I’ve had this year, because they’re both excellent, and they’re both very different from each other, and I just can’t have enough of either. Be sure to pick up a crate of Fuller’s London Pride for a session or to have with something roasted, and Murphy’s Irish Stout when you feel like sitting back with a fucking cigar. These drinks are on the expensive side, but trust me when I say they’re absolutely worth it. And just try having a Kingfisher after downing a few of these.

WOMAN OF THE YEAR

Priyanka Chopra

She’s smoking hot, and I fucking love her.

Priyanka Chopra is an actress who keeps breaking out of her comfort zone every now and then, doesn’t act in inane comedies, has a great face and a terrific bod, doesn’t talk about her private life, is not a fake vegetarian, doesn’t look like Randhir Kapoor, can be described as sweet, sexy, hot, cute, pretty, gorgeous, seems totally unaffected by the box-office outcome of her films, and she has an ass like that.

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RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR

Urban Tadka

One of my all-time favourite restaurants – Urban Tadka is the place I run to when I’m not sure where to go. The rustic setting, the homely vibe, the amazing food, the perfect service – Urban Tadka is the restaurant that I’ve frequented the most over the last three years and not once have I been disappointed in the slightest. Far from it, Urban Tadka always manages to surprise me, and is the best place for meals with friends, lunch dates, dinners with the family, and hell, I even go there all by myself just because I love being there so much. I love it so much that I’m going to write a review for it next year after a few more visits to it. In the meantime, every other dhaba-like restaurant can pack up and take my leave, thank you!

MAN OF THE YEAR

Varg Vikernes

The prince returned after more than a decade in jail to claim what was rightfully his – the throne. Count Grishnackh has proved that the purest music can come only from the purest mind, with Belus being not only the most dazzling album from his discography, but also one of the most brilliant black metal albums of all time, not to mention the greatest comeback ever. The prince of black metal is now the king of black metal, enthroned for eternity, irrespective of whether he chooses to make another album or not. Paying no attention to all the pressure on him to make some music worthy of being placed next to his Burzum classics, Varg Vikernes quietly pushed forward the most epic comeback album ever. As for 2010 being the Year Of The Tiger – may the creator of the Chinese horoscope be trapped inside a burning church – 2010 is the Year Of The Wolf. JAI SHRI GRISHNACKH!!!

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09
Nov
10

City Youth To Paint A Wall While Its Sea Gets Destroyed

Now that the Maharashtrians have finished polluting the air and the sea, and the Bengalis have kept themselves content with just the sea, and the Gujaratis are done with contributing to noise pollution and air pollution for the year, the north Indians must make their presence felt by throwing stuff in the sea.

Of course, this is nothing new – there was a post about this last year, with photographs. Nothing really merits another post on it, with or without pictures.

What does need to be drawn attention to is that “The Wall Project”, an initiative to “beautify” the city, took place on the same day as the Chhat Puja last year.

And, this “Wall Project” will, believe it or not, take place on the same day as Chhat Puja this year as well.

So, the youth of Mumbai (or Bombay, if you prefer that – but should anyone care about the preferences of someone like you anymore?), the concerned residents of which, many of them of the “intellectual” variety, will turn a complete blind eye to their beaches and their sea getting gang-raped by yet another community (or – just another community gang-raping it).

These people, this youth, which screams at the top of their air pollution-fucked lungs into the noise pollution-fucked ears of everyone in sight – protesting without a thought, to the prospect of a statue being built off the city’s coastline (it turned out to be a political gimmick to garner attention and a few more votes, please stop patting yourselves on the back), proclaiming that your tax money was being stolen (do you know which arse your cash is being stuffed into as we speak?), suggesting that that money be donated to the Vidarbha farmers and their families instead (I bet you still haven’t sent anyone a cheque or bothered to find out what’s happening in your beloved Vidarbha right now) – forgets about everything they felt oh so strongly about immediately after jumping up and down in seething rage, signing every damn petition some stupid wannabe celebrity (whom you’re likely to see jumping up and down most of the time) thinks it fit to pass around. Clap your hands over your head like it’s a PT exercise. Moosh-moosh-raga-moosh.

So, are you still farting around on the ‘Save The Tiger’ thing? Come off it, that’s so last year. We have newer things to be angry about. The Common Wealth Games, yeah. Okay, let’s be as funny as we can while we’re at it. All of you who dream of the beaches of Bombay being full of bikini-clad women – ever realized it might give old Bal a heart attack and his grandson a boner he could beat Rohinton Mistry with?

For all the TED talks you’ve watched, all the blathering on world economics, feed the hungry, enrich the poor – do think of me when you train your offspring to light firecrackers safely or to bend over for some invisible force or to head-bang along with mataji.

Before I forget – I don’t have a point to make. It just amuses me that “The Great Wall Of Mumbai” will be painted again on the same day as the Chhat Puja. Maybe “The Wall Project” and north Indians refer to the same calendar.

I also understand it might be hard to see things my way – i.e. the top view, baby.

And with the Facebook wall on one side and “The Great Wall Of Mumbai” on  the other, it might be very hard. Even if you’re jumping up and down with the let’s-find-a-cause-to-support singer of some electronica band, you will need to have your eyes open.

But how dare I piss all over the “resilient” spirit of Mumbai, and how dare I forget you have last year’s crayons to doodle with while accepting what happens to our sea and our beaches festival after festival and embracing it as a “religious tradition.”

Paint it black.




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