Posts Tagged ‘pubs


Beer Snobbery 4

Getting drunk all by yourself in bars will at some point lead to a stranger telling you that duplicate beer is sold all the time in this country. The much cheaper maal comes from other territories and is stocked by bars, pubs and restaurants because it means a bigger profit margin to them. Most of us may not realize it, but if your third or fourth bottle of lager tastes a bit different, chances are it’s the fake stuff. The ones who can understand this taste difference will have their query laughed off because they’ve had a few, and this is what happens all over India. I’ve had Kingfisher that tasted weird in a hotel in Jaipur, Rajasthan three years ago – I mean, it tasted weirder than Kingfisher does. This has been happening with ‘imported liquor’ for years; the branded scotch you pay big bucks for isn’t the real thing, and even the guy who owns or runs the liquor store may be unaware of it. To be on the safe side, what you can do is drink beer than cannot be duplicated. Just a few sips of Fuller’s London Pride Ale and Brooklyn Lager will tell you that some things cannot be duplicated. Cloned, yes… duplicated, no. Because if someone who wants to get rich quick could brew something of quality that high, they’d have their own brand out there. Even that fat booze baron Vijay Mallya can’t do it, and is taking over Heineken (the Kingfisher of its nation) because he is a boob.

Here’s how to not be a boob: Don’t go to the ‘official’ Mumbai Oktoberfest organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Whatever. I was there last year and it was an overblown event held to squeeze money out of people who thought they were being a part of something great by being there. On the last day of the event, people had to drink Kingfisher with the money they’d spent and learned nothing about German culture.

The Indo-German Chamber of Shit has started sending out emails to get people to make reservations for Oktoberfest 2011. They’ve stated in the email that it’s going to be 30,000 rupees (+ service tax) for a table of ten, but haven’t mentioned which German beers they’ll be pilaoing people this year. My guess is it’ll be the same beers they were trying to promote last year in the name of German culture. So, don’t be a trendy kid and fall victim to the hype, and don’t forget the official Oktoberfest is organized by the Indo-German Chamber of Commerce, which means they care about money more than anything else, and that they don’t really give a shit about beer or culture or you.

Oktoberfest 2011 you can celebrate by drinking the German Wheat Beer from Doolally – you can do this by going to the microbrewery in Pune or by visiting a pub that stocks their beers. Or you can go to Gurgaon because it has six microbreweries. Or you can buy beers of your choice from any Living Liquidz outlet in Mumbai and stay home. Just don’t settle for Kingfisher this year. Prost, ladies and gentlemen!

The Best Beers In India
Beer Snobbery 1
Beer Snobbery 2
Beer Snobbery 3


Beer Snobbery 1

Stale Beer Makes For Unhappy Hours

Restobars that serve a pitcher of draught beer free on one on a regular basis have been serving stale beer. The people who realize something’s wrong with the beer (it’s not flat) are convinced by the waiter, who stirs the beer with a fork to produce bubbles, that the beer isn’t flat. In less than three seconds, the drink goes dead again because it’s very stale.

At such places (that have the 1+1 free scheme), the best thing to do during happy hours is have liquor. Also, try sticking to your usual brand of whisky because unless you’re a whisky expert, you won’t know what they’ve given you after the second scotch.

Vijay Mallya still doesn’t know that the best beer to come out of United Breweries is London Pilsner.

What every beer lover in Mumbai should do is run to Living Liquidz and sample the beers reviewed on this blog. There are stouts, ales and lagers and they taste nothing like our local beer. It’ll be a while before pubs and restaurants start thinking beyond Heineken and Corona and Indian lagers, but we have Living Liquidz (and all its outlets) in Bombay!

Overheard at a wine shop: Ek Keengfeeser dilade… nahin toh Foe-shtur pilade!


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